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chuckling_ghostTo any of my fans reading this: If you've found this before December 23 2020, congratulations! You found Santa's workshop! Here is your Christmas present!
EPILOGUE
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==Twenty-Five Years Later==
…
There were many temples spread across the Elemental Nations. All were massive and grand, most consisting of a massive building complex surrounded bountiful gardens that even the Daimyo could only look at with jealousy. The walls were made from local stone, the roofs from local timber. Calamity never struck the temples, and when pillaging armies attempted to raid them, their commanders were struck dead by lightning or flames that sprang from nowhere while their soldiers fled in terror as unshakeable dread filled their hearts with certainty that another step would grant them the same fate. The temples were tended by beautiful women who were rumored to be immortal and gifted with supernatural powers in exchange for surrendering any titles they might’ve held to become the brides of Kami.
The world was not perfect. There were still orphans, war, famine, sickness and calamity. The wars though, everyone agreed were far from the terrible things they could have been. Men with families were mysteriously whisked away home in flashes of light before they could die. Often this only gave them a chance to say goodbye, but many times they were able to survive and go on to lead peaceful lives. It had been so reduced from what wars in far away lands were that it had become a thing of glory as much as strong arm diplomacy. The assault of civilian settlements was completely taboo by Kami’s edicts and legend told of how when an army decided to ignore this edict, Kami would rain down terror and misfortune upon them for three days. Legend said that only one army had been foolish enough to forge on despite three days of Kami’s warnings, and raid a defenseless town anyway. They had found the town vanishing around them, and then been crushed mercilessly beneath an entire mountain.
This was one of the more incredible tales and largely treated as mere legend, but any who had had the misfortune to serve under a commander who thought to flout Kami’s edicts on war would attest to the reality of his wrath at being ignored.
Occasionally monsters would arise, and great heroes would set out to slay them leading to legends being formed around their exploits. For every ill the world wrought though, the Shrine Maidens and the Temples stepped forth to offer aid. Those who came to the temples seeking healing saw their sicknesses fade as if they’d never been there. Those who came seeking justice found it. It was truly obvious to any who had ever visited that whether Kami or something else entirely, the Temples and Shrine Maidens possessed the ability to work miracles.
Traders who traveled to and from the West brought new tales of Kami’s works and exploits. One particularly far travelling trader had brought home tales of how Kami had once travelled west and married a Goddess of Wisdom, and a Goddess of Death and begotten children with both and the queen of a mighty warrior nation as well. All further traders who asked in the lands of Greece were informed of Kami-sama’s great deeds in those lands so far to the west, and told as well of how he had ventured both South to the deserts of Egypt and to the frozen wastes in the North that were home to the fierce Norse and giants, earning the respect of both lands’ gods as he staved off the resurgence of horrors from the dawn of the world before travelling west beyond the setting sun to battle the very ocean itself in a battle that shook the stars.
The greatest of Kami’s temples was in the Land of Fire, not far from the Village Hidden in the Leaves. It was a might building faced with orange marble that seemed to glow in the twilight and saw many of its Shrine Maidens hailing from the Village Hidden in the Leaves. The shinobi of Hidden Leaf were known to frequently pray at the temple, and many of their genin often helped tend the gardens as the Shrine Maidens were willing to share the bountiful nature of their gardens to help in the brewing of the shinobi’s poisons and elixirs in exchange. It was rumored that one of their Jonin had even been honored with the hand of a Shrine Maiden after working tirelessly to win her affection and prove his own.
Though there were many rumors that the shinobi possessed supernatural powers, none of them were true. The shinobi were clever certainly, and many were highly gifted acrobats and fighters, but of all of them, only one could claim any sort of magical ability and she was a former Shrine Maiden. Even before that, she was the daughter of a great sage who had slain one of the Twelve Great Beasts of Calamity, and the great granddaughter of one of the two legendary heroes who had conquered NINE of the Twelve Great Beasts. To call her merely favored by Kami would be an understatement, as many whispered that she had been the High Priestess’s chief rival in beauty, power, intelligence and wit. Though she never used it, many whispered that her magic had not been diminished one bit after leaving the temple to inherit her father’s position.
For the young man from Iwa who was now kneeling in the temple of the Land of Fire, it was hard to believe that anyone could rival the beauty before him. The other Shrine Maidens were beautiful certainly, he doubted that any man could resist if one were to decide to make him theirs, but the High Priestess was on another level. She fairly glowed with vitality, her hair was long and shone with a luster that would put actual gold to shame, and her eyes were a richer blue than he had ever seen. These alone would’ve been enough to fluster most any man, but the Shrine Maidens all wore revealing clothes, which while not overly immodest, were certainly not unalluring either.
The High Priestess was the exception, as her outfit left much of her torso bare, showed off a very generous amount of her legs, and did nothing at all to conceal her generous chest. If the Shrine Maidens truly did dress to please Kami, then it could not have been clearer that the High Priestess was the one whose figure pleased him the most. The crown like hat on her head lent quite a fair bit to the idea that she was as much his queen as his priestess.
It made explaining the reason for his visit without getting tongue tied quite a chore.
“So you claim that Kami-sama has forsaken you,” the High Priestess mused thoughtfully, “But has offered you redemption and great reward if you undergo a dangerous quest. I suppose you wish to ask if this is truly Kami-sama’s will?”
The bedraggled and filthy young man nodded sharply, “Yes High Priestess-sama, surely if anyone knows Kami-sama’s will it is you!”
The most exalted of all the Shrine Maidens raised a sleeve concealed hand to cover the small smile and blush at the man’s words, “I would not be so presumptuous as to say I know Our Lord’s thoughts and intentions, but you have come to the right place. Hmmm…” She took a moment to observe the now hopeful looking if filthy young man who had clearly been traveling a long way and down on his luck, “…You will probably be hard pressed to come up with an offering to exchange for Kami-sama’s advice, so…”
“No, no! I have brought a sacrifice!” The man protested as he hurriedly snatched a loaf of bread from the sack he had brought in, “This came from the finest baker I could-“ POW! The man’s head snapped forward as though he’d been struck and he was sent sprawling to the floor.
The Shrine Maiden blinked and then had to school her expression to keep her smile from spreading as the reason for the fearsome blow rose to her mind’s eye, “Well, it seems that you’re starting off on the wrong foot already! Stealing is a terrible sin you know, but you’ve come to the right place for atonement as well. Sister Hinata? Would you mind escorting this young man to a meditation room? Sister Inoni, would you ensure that Akimichi-san is compensated for this man’s wrongdoing?”
The dark haired man looked up in shock as a beautiful raven haired Shrine Maiden with pale lavender eyes appeared next to him while another with pale blonde hair took off at mind boggling speeds, “Of course. Right this way Kishu-san.”
“How do you know my name?” Kishu asked as fear flashed through him.
Hinata smiled, “Kami-sama knows many things. Come, he wishes to speak with you.”
She led him to a small room lined with columns and centered around an octagonal pool. The only light came from several pleasantly scented candles that filled the room with a warm glow and a smell of cinnamon. Against the back wall was a statue of Kami, sitting humbly with his back against the wall and one arm draped over his raised knee and the other dangled over the pool. “Lay your offering on the pedestal next to Kami-sama over there, I’m sure he’ll accept it even if he’s unhappy with how you got it.”
“You think so?” Kishu asked as he rubbed the back of his head where that very real smack had landed. He’d never much believed in Kami, but he was starting to wonder.
Hinata nodded with a smile, “Kami-sama is very forgiving to all his children! Besides, if he didn’t want to accept it, he would’ve made you take it back and apologize!”
“Oh, um, I guess that makes sense…” Kishu mused before pausing half way to the tray, “Wait a minute, he can do that?!”
Hinata gave him a sympathetic smile, “Never been much of a believer huh? Don’t worry, Kami-sama is a kind and loving person! He won’t harm you if you follow his edicts.”
“W-what’ll he do if I don’t?” Kishu asked as he nervously set the bread on the tray and moved to sit where Hinata indicated.
“I believe he threw a mountain at the last big group of people to ignore his word,” Hinata replied nonchalantly, “He gave them plenty of warnings. You’re from the Land of Stone right? Did you pass Mt. Heiwa on the way here?”
Kishu went ghostly pale, “That’s why nothing grows on Mt. Heiwa?!”
Hinata nodded, “It’s only been there for…oh how long has it been? Really? Only seventeen years? Yes Kami-sama, time really does fly!”
Kishu looked up for the person Hinata was talking to but didn’t see anything, “Um, is he hiding on the ceiling? I, I don’t see him.”
Hinata laughed, “Oh no! Nothing like that! Kami-sama will normally speak to those who come to speak with him, but as we Shrine Maidens are always happy to speak with him, we’re granted the ability to always hear his voice. I’ve said enough though, I’ll go prepare a room for you. See you when you’re done.”
Kishu blinked, “A room?”
Hinata nodded, “Yes, Kami-sama says you have a long journey ahead of you! It wouldn’t be right to not offer you a place to rest for the night!”
“S-so she was telling the truth?!”
“She was,” declared a voice that seemed to come from everywhere at once, “You were right not to trust her implicitly though. The lies of an Oracle can ruin an entire nation if believed. Kurotsuchi would never lie to you though.”
Kishu looked nearly ready to bolt out the door, out to the street and as far and fast as his feet could carry him. Then a sound of a loud and large bite came from behind him and he whirled to find that the statue had come to life, revealing a large man in dark clothes holding the bread Kishu had laid on the tray in one hand. The man sighed happily behind the scarf that obscured his face, “Choji really did turn out to be a fine baker didn’t he?”
Hinata nodded, “He did! Should I procure more of his pastries for you Kami-sama?”
The man she addressed as Kami shook his head, “No, no need to give him a swelled head. Issuing favor directly like that would lead to more trouble than it’s worth. Fortune will smile on him without any intervention from the temple.”
“Fortune will smile on him huh?” Kishu asked bitterly, “Why him? Why not me?”
Kami met his gaze and a somber look entered his eye before he glanced over Kishu’s head, “Hinata?”
“Of course,” Hinata quickly left the room.
“You’re feeling bitter about the lot life’s dealt you I see,” Kami mused.
“Growing up on the street hungry has a way of doing that to you,” Kishu replied, “The temples preach that you watch over everyone and ensure peace and prosperity for those who are kind and good, issuing punishment on those who do wrong. So what did I do to deserve a life on the street as an orphan?”
Kami chewed quietly for a moment, “How much do you know about my Shrine Maidens?”
Kishu’s brow furrowed, “They renounce any titles or holdings they might have and become your priestesses, supposedly your brides. The temples grow food and provide it to the less fortunate, but the Shrine Maidens don’t do any of the hard physical labor because those seeking to atone for their sins do it as penance. I never believed it until now, but I guess it makes sense now that I know you actually do take a human form to talk to people. Must be a pretty good deal,” he scowled, “Give up any responsibilities you might have to be Kami’s personal slut and have him take care of you forever with a side helping of eternal youth and immortality.”
“I only appear in the flesh for certain special cases,” Kami replied before adding nonchalantly, “And you really shouldn’t talk about your mother that way.”
“My moth-WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY MOTHER?!” Kishu demanded as he leapt to his feet. Then it hit him, “ARE YOU TELLING ME MY MOTHER IS A SHRINE MAIDEN?!”
“You are familiar with my temple in the Land of Stone correct? Can you think of none there who were kind to you? I know of at least one.”
Kishu’s heart pounded as memories flooded back to him and tears sprang to his eyes, “K-Kurotsuchi-sama? Kurotsuchi-sama is my mother?”
Kami nodded, “Nothing in this world ruins a good person faster than a life of privilege and entitlement. The sons of nobles are raised among the men they lead, so that their position will not cloud their judgment. A ruler is no better than anyone else, although it is very easy for them to forget that, especially a few generations in. It’s only appropriate then for a child of mine to be raised free of any lofty titles that would misguide him or taint his ideals.”
“I’m sorry that your life has been hard,” he continued quietly, “But you’ve grown into a fine young man worthy of praise. You’ve passed every test of character I’ve set before you and done me proud at every turn. I have one last trial for you, and if you do as well as I’m sure you will, then I hope the rewards will at least begin to make up for how lousy a father I’ve been. Next time you see Kuro-chan, she’ll be able to openly claim you as her son, and I’ll vouch for the truth of it myself. Be warned though, once people know you’re my son, a lot of responsibility will fall on your shoulders. If you want, you can go home and work at the temple with Kuro-chan. It’s a good quiet life and not one I’d begrudge you in the slightest. If you would prefer to do something else, I’ll help however I can.”
“…No,” Kishu said quietly after a moment before raising his head to meet Kami’s gaze, “What is this trial? I want to make K-Mother proud.”
Kami smiled and then suddenly Kishu was tackled to the ground by a sobbing form he knew very well, “Kishu-kun!”
“K-Kurotsuchi-sama?!”
Kurotsuchi flashed a watery glare up at him, “Mother, I very much liked being called Mother.”
Kishu blinked and then tears flooded fresh to his eyes, “R-right, s-sorry Mom. Just, takes a little getting used to.”
…
The High Priestess smiled as she subtly listened in on the happy revelation with her far beyond human hearing and then as she sent the most recent supplicant on their way to a meditation room, “Onee-chan, would you mind taking over out here for a few minutes?”
Her elder sister walked over from where she was overseeing the collection of tributes to Kami, “Yeah sure. You alright?”
The High Priestess nodded, “I just need to do something right quick.”
Her sister’s eyes lit with understanding and she sighed with a small smile, “Fine, fine, don’t get too carried away though. Next please.”
The High Priestess turned and left swiftly, disappearing into the bowels of the temple. Quickly passing through several magical doors which would open only for the Shrine Maidens, and then through one final one that was keyed to her touch alone, she stepped into a garden that far shamed any of the ones outside. It was nowhere near as grand as the gardens surrounding the temple, but it held a sense of intimacy that only the High Priestess was allowed to enjoy. The garden was quite small compared to any other garden at any other temple, filled mostly with orange and black flowers around stones of polished white marble.
She quickly made her way over the small wooden bridge and quietly gurgling stream that ran through the center of the garden and made her way to the beautiful tree in its center. Seated at its base was a weathered man whose face was young despite the snow white hair and the weariness that visibly permeated his entire being. Tears were streaming down his face from behind the hand over his eyes as the High Priestess knelt next to him and pulled him into her bosom, “You alright Koga-kun?”
“My son…my son doesn’t hate me!” Koga choked out as he clung to the woman who for years had been his strongest lifeline to his humanity with a massive smile.
“Being Kami has its burdens, and being the son of Kami does too. Kishu-kun’s smart enough to understand that,” Naruko told him quietly.
Koga nodded and silence reigned for several minutes before Naruko asked, “Will our son have to endure trials like him?”
Koga nodded as the tears started fresh, “He’ll be the strongest of al-wait what?!” He sat up in surprise, his normally solid black eyes snapping to the normal looking but vibrantly orange ones that had first caught Naruko’s attention in surprise. Naruko smiled and guided his hand to her stomach, “It’s been two months. I guess you’ve been a little too busy to notice, but I’m certain.” She leaned in and Koga found himself utterly lost in her gaze as just before their lips met she whispered, “Happy Birthday Koga-kun.”
AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
THE END.
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AFTERWORD
First of all, I’d like to thank everyone for reading this story, I sincerely hope you all enjoyed it. I’m very sorry that this epilogue took so long to churn out, but I hope you enjoyed it.
My passion for the Naruverse has thoroughly burned out, so this will quite likely be my last work involving Naruto. I am pleased to say that I think it is quite likely my finest, and I hope you agree.
Since I’m sure that many of you have questions, allow me to clarify what I suspect will be some of the more frequent ones:
-> Koga used Plague Sentience to seal the chakra of everyone in the Elemental Nations and erase all record of it except what is lodged within the House.
-> He also used genjutsu and the sheer virtually unlimited scope of power that Plague Sentience gives him to completely rewrite history, setting himself up as the sole god of the Elemental Nations. There weren’t any in that neck of the woods, so he was able to do so unimpeded.
-> Naruko, Tsubaki, Tenten and Anko are the only ones in the Elemental Nations aside from Koga who remember the truth, and they were only allowed to because Koga needed someone to help keep him in check. Tsubaki became Hokage after Jiraiya, Naruko became Koga’s High Priestess, Tenten is a Shrine Maiden, and Anko became the infamous, immortal and heartbreakingly beautiful Snake Witch who is said to aid the worthy, punish the wicked and teach arcane secrets to those willing and worthy to learn. Tsubaki fully intends to retire back to the Temple once a suitable successor for the Hat pops up.
-> Koga has three daughters who are older than Kishu with Athena, the Norse Goddess of Death Hel who he won the heart of by expressing nothing but concern when he encountered her in Niflheim and saw the state of her immortal form (half alive half withered corpse) and immediately repaired it using senjutsu empowered medical ninjutsu, and his eldest child is with Helen of Sparta who requested he sire an heir and Menelaus advocated for it as well due to the Spartan belief that one must be in the prime of their life to sire the strongest child possible. Hard to get more prime than a literal god you know.
-> The Europe Arc did still take place even if I’m probably never going to write it, and it was indeed epic, ending with Koga throwing down with Poseidon and WINNING to stop the end of the world, after which he was granted Athena’s hand in marriage. I’m not going to say anymore about it just in case I ever DO get the urge to come back and write it. It should be noted though that Koga started his ‘Ultimate Rewrite’ of history at the end of Chapter 22 right after he realized he could.
-> Yes Athena and Hel both know he’s got a harem scattered across the globe and they don’t mind since they get to enjoy too, and each of them have a clone who lives with them permanently and is completely devoted to their respective bride.
-> Apollo DID get Anko pregnant, just not on their first encounter. Their daughter Himitsu is about the same age as Kishu.
-> Koga’s not one to just go and snatch lovers away from each other to sate his own lust, but he is prone to growing clones to be his Shrine Maidens, which is how the Shrine Maiden Inoni became a thing (Ino – ni (as in 2)). There’s also a clone of Sakura running around.
-> Neji became the heir to the Hyuga Main House because the Main/Branch family system was erased along with knowledge of what the Byakugan can do, he later married Leelee and they have three sons who all love their Grampy Guy.
-> Hinata and Hanabi both became Shrine Maidens. Hinata will eventually have a daughter named Himawari (because Himawari is adorable), and Hanabi will have a daughter named Yumiko.
-> Shikamaru is still a shinobi and later got pegged to be the Lord of Fire’s chief tactician, which he declared immensely troublesome
-> Choji wound up becoming a very successful baker instead of a shinobi since with no jutsu, he’s really not cut out for it. Ino wound up marrying him for his cooking.
-> Sakura did eventually snag Sasuke with far greater ease than in canon due to the fact that he never became an angsty revenge obsessed nutjob and they get along very well. They have a daughter named Himiko because Sakura was not allowed to name her while high out of her mind on pain meds. Himiko has perfect eyesight, slightly curly hair and looks nothing like Karin. Why? Because I really hate Sarada’s entire design that’s why.
-> Itachi and Izumi got married and had at least one child every year for ten years (two sets of twins and one of triplets), which leads to a fair bit of teasing from their friends.
-> Chino wound up running Koga’s temple in the Land of Steam
-> The Sand Sisters (Temari, Kankara, and Gaara-chan) run Koga’s Temple in the Land of Wind
-> Kurotsuchi is the head Shrine Maiden of the Land of Stone and had the surprise honor of giving birth to Koga’s first son Kishu. Akatsuchi became the Fourth Tsuchikage instead.
-> Tayuya is the head Shrine Maiden of the Land of Rice Paddies and will eventually have a son named Akaryu who will be a genjutsu master
-> Fuu is the head Shrine Maiden of the Land of Waterfalls. She will eventually have twins with startlingly white hair named Shiro and Shirahoshi.
-> Haku got a med-nin empowered sex change courtesy of Koga and is now the head Shrine Maiden of the Land of Water. Mei Terumi is of course the Mizukage.
-> Orochimaru was eventually tracked down and proven to be completely genjutsu free, Danzo had nothing to do with him being off his rocker, so Jiraiya killed him with a bit of help from Koga to make sure the snakey bastard didn’t get away. This legendary battle won Jiraiya the title of Hokage whether he wanted it or not. Tsunade persuaded him it was a good idea by calling him ‘Hokage-sama’ in a very sexy voice. He found that extremely difficult to argue with.
-> Kurenai was a Shrine Maiden, but Asuma was able to woo her and Koga saw them off with much applause and congratulations. Their daughter Mirai Sarutobi got to meet her grandfather and has two younger siblings who are a handful. (Yes that does mean Koga banged Kurenai.)
-> Yes, Koga also eventually banged Anko and she became one of his regular partners.
-> Koga’s actually the one behind the monsters as it gives the shinobi something to do and provides a nice outside force for humanity to unite against. It doesn’t always work, but between the occasional disturbances and Plague Sentience, he’s managed to keep things mostly peaceful.
-> For anyone curious about what Naruko’s High Priestess outfit looks like, look up Fate Dress of Heaven.
-> Koga wasn’t able to fix everything, and he still needs constant help to keep from being crushed under the pressure, which is why he has his Shrine Maidens. All things considered though, he considers it a far better world than what it was.
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Once again, thank you all for reading and I sincerely hope you’ve enjoyed!
This has been Brilliant Minds and Black Hearts,
I am Chuckling-Ghost,
And in the famous words of Porky the Pig…
D-d-d-d-DAT’S ALL FOLKS!
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
12/23/2020
EPILOGUE
…
==Twenty-Five Years Later==
…
There were many temples spread across the Elemental Nations. All were massive and grand, most consisting of a massive building complex surrounded bountiful gardens that even the Daimyo could only look at with jealousy. The walls were made from local stone, the roofs from local timber. Calamity never struck the temples, and when pillaging armies attempted to raid them, their commanders were struck dead by lightning or flames that sprang from nowhere while their soldiers fled in terror as unshakeable dread filled their hearts with certainty that another step would grant them the same fate. The temples were tended by beautiful women who were rumored to be immortal and gifted with supernatural powers in exchange for surrendering any titles they might’ve held to become the brides of Kami.
The world was not perfect. There were still orphans, war, famine, sickness and calamity. The wars though, everyone agreed were far from the terrible things they could have been. Men with families were mysteriously whisked away home in flashes of light before they could die. Often this only gave them a chance to say goodbye, but many times they were able to survive and go on to lead peaceful lives. It had been so reduced from what wars in far away lands were that it had become a thing of glory as much as strong arm diplomacy. The assault of civilian settlements was completely taboo by Kami’s edicts and legend told of how when an army decided to ignore this edict, Kami would rain down terror and misfortune upon them for three days. Legend said that only one army had been foolish enough to forge on despite three days of Kami’s warnings, and raid a defenseless town anyway. They had found the town vanishing around them, and then been crushed mercilessly beneath an entire mountain.
This was one of the more incredible tales and largely treated as mere legend, but any who had had the misfortune to serve under a commander who thought to flout Kami’s edicts on war would attest to the reality of his wrath at being ignored.
Occasionally monsters would arise, and great heroes would set out to slay them leading to legends being formed around their exploits. For every ill the world wrought though, the Shrine Maidens and the Temples stepped forth to offer aid. Those who came to the temples seeking healing saw their sicknesses fade as if they’d never been there. Those who came seeking justice found it. It was truly obvious to any who had ever visited that whether Kami or something else entirely, the Temples and Shrine Maidens possessed the ability to work miracles.
Traders who traveled to and from the West brought new tales of Kami’s works and exploits. One particularly far travelling trader had brought home tales of how Kami had once travelled west and married a Goddess of Wisdom, and a Goddess of Death and begotten children with both and the queen of a mighty warrior nation as well. All further traders who asked in the lands of Greece were informed of Kami-sama’s great deeds in those lands so far to the west, and told as well of how he had ventured both South to the deserts of Egypt and to the frozen wastes in the North that were home to the fierce Norse and giants, earning the respect of both lands’ gods as he staved off the resurgence of horrors from the dawn of the world before travelling west beyond the setting sun to battle the very ocean itself in a battle that shook the stars.
The greatest of Kami’s temples was in the Land of Fire, not far from the Village Hidden in the Leaves. It was a might building faced with orange marble that seemed to glow in the twilight and saw many of its Shrine Maidens hailing from the Village Hidden in the Leaves. The shinobi of Hidden Leaf were known to frequently pray at the temple, and many of their genin often helped tend the gardens as the Shrine Maidens were willing to share the bountiful nature of their gardens to help in the brewing of the shinobi’s poisons and elixirs in exchange. It was rumored that one of their Jonin had even been honored with the hand of a Shrine Maiden after working tirelessly to win her affection and prove his own.
Though there were many rumors that the shinobi possessed supernatural powers, none of them were true. The shinobi were clever certainly, and many were highly gifted acrobats and fighters, but of all of them, only one could claim any sort of magical ability and she was a former Shrine Maiden. Even before that, she was the daughter of a great sage who had slain one of the Twelve Great Beasts of Calamity, and the great granddaughter of one of the two legendary heroes who had conquered NINE of the Twelve Great Beasts. To call her merely favored by Kami would be an understatement, as many whispered that she had been the High Priestess’s chief rival in beauty, power, intelligence and wit. Though she never used it, many whispered that her magic had not been diminished one bit after leaving the temple to inherit her father’s position.
For the young man from Iwa who was now kneeling in the temple of the Land of Fire, it was hard to believe that anyone could rival the beauty before him. The other Shrine Maidens were beautiful certainly, he doubted that any man could resist if one were to decide to make him theirs, but the High Priestess was on another level. She fairly glowed with vitality, her hair was long and shone with a luster that would put actual gold to shame, and her eyes were a richer blue than he had ever seen. These alone would’ve been enough to fluster most any man, but the Shrine Maidens all wore revealing clothes, which while not overly immodest, were certainly not unalluring either.
The High Priestess was the exception, as her outfit left much of her torso bare, showed off a very generous amount of her legs, and did nothing at all to conceal her generous chest. If the Shrine Maidens truly did dress to please Kami, then it could not have been clearer that the High Priestess was the one whose figure pleased him the most. The crown like hat on her head lent quite a fair bit to the idea that she was as much his queen as his priestess.
It made explaining the reason for his visit without getting tongue tied quite a chore.
“So you claim that Kami-sama has forsaken you,” the High Priestess mused thoughtfully, “But has offered you redemption and great reward if you undergo a dangerous quest. I suppose you wish to ask if this is truly Kami-sama’s will?”
The bedraggled and filthy young man nodded sharply, “Yes High Priestess-sama, surely if anyone knows Kami-sama’s will it is you!”
The most exalted of all the Shrine Maidens raised a sleeve concealed hand to cover the small smile and blush at the man’s words, “I would not be so presumptuous as to say I know Our Lord’s thoughts and intentions, but you have come to the right place. Hmmm…” She took a moment to observe the now hopeful looking if filthy young man who had clearly been traveling a long way and down on his luck, “…You will probably be hard pressed to come up with an offering to exchange for Kami-sama’s advice, so…”
“No, no! I have brought a sacrifice!” The man protested as he hurriedly snatched a loaf of bread from the sack he had brought in, “This came from the finest baker I could-“ POW! The man’s head snapped forward as though he’d been struck and he was sent sprawling to the floor.
The Shrine Maiden blinked and then had to school her expression to keep her smile from spreading as the reason for the fearsome blow rose to her mind’s eye, “Well, it seems that you’re starting off on the wrong foot already! Stealing is a terrible sin you know, but you’ve come to the right place for atonement as well. Sister Hinata? Would you mind escorting this young man to a meditation room? Sister Inoni, would you ensure that Akimichi-san is compensated for this man’s wrongdoing?”
The dark haired man looked up in shock as a beautiful raven haired Shrine Maiden with pale lavender eyes appeared next to him while another with pale blonde hair took off at mind boggling speeds, “Of course. Right this way Kishu-san.”
“How do you know my name?” Kishu asked as fear flashed through him.
Hinata smiled, “Kami-sama knows many things. Come, he wishes to speak with you.”
She led him to a small room lined with columns and centered around an octagonal pool. The only light came from several pleasantly scented candles that filled the room with a warm glow and a smell of cinnamon. Against the back wall was a statue of Kami, sitting humbly with his back against the wall and one arm draped over his raised knee and the other dangled over the pool. “Lay your offering on the pedestal next to Kami-sama over there, I’m sure he’ll accept it even if he’s unhappy with how you got it.”
“You think so?” Kishu asked as he rubbed the back of his head where that very real smack had landed. He’d never much believed in Kami, but he was starting to wonder.
Hinata nodded with a smile, “Kami-sama is very forgiving to all his children! Besides, if he didn’t want to accept it, he would’ve made you take it back and apologize!”
“Oh, um, I guess that makes sense…” Kishu mused before pausing half way to the tray, “Wait a minute, he can do that?!”
Hinata gave him a sympathetic smile, “Never been much of a believer huh? Don’t worry, Kami-sama is a kind and loving person! He won’t harm you if you follow his edicts.”
“W-what’ll he do if I don’t?” Kishu asked as he nervously set the bread on the tray and moved to sit where Hinata indicated.
“I believe he threw a mountain at the last big group of people to ignore his word,” Hinata replied nonchalantly, “He gave them plenty of warnings. You’re from the Land of Stone right? Did you pass Mt. Heiwa on the way here?”
Kishu went ghostly pale, “That’s why nothing grows on Mt. Heiwa?!”
Hinata nodded, “It’s only been there for…oh how long has it been? Really? Only seventeen years? Yes Kami-sama, time really does fly!”
Kishu looked up for the person Hinata was talking to but didn’t see anything, “Um, is he hiding on the ceiling? I, I don’t see him.”
Hinata laughed, “Oh no! Nothing like that! Kami-sama will normally speak to those who come to speak with him, but as we Shrine Maidens are always happy to speak with him, we’re granted the ability to always hear his voice. I’ve said enough though, I’ll go prepare a room for you. See you when you’re done.”
Kishu blinked, “A room?”
Hinata nodded, “Yes, Kami-sama says you have a long journey ahead of you! It wouldn’t be right to not offer you a place to rest for the night!”
“S-so she was telling the truth?!”
“She was,” declared a voice that seemed to come from everywhere at once, “You were right not to trust her implicitly though. The lies of an Oracle can ruin an entire nation if believed. Kurotsuchi would never lie to you though.”
Kishu looked nearly ready to bolt out the door, out to the street and as far and fast as his feet could carry him. Then a sound of a loud and large bite came from behind him and he whirled to find that the statue had come to life, revealing a large man in dark clothes holding the bread Kishu had laid on the tray in one hand. The man sighed happily behind the scarf that obscured his face, “Choji really did turn out to be a fine baker didn’t he?”
Hinata nodded, “He did! Should I procure more of his pastries for you Kami-sama?”
The man she addressed as Kami shook his head, “No, no need to give him a swelled head. Issuing favor directly like that would lead to more trouble than it’s worth. Fortune will smile on him without any intervention from the temple.”
“Fortune will smile on him huh?” Kishu asked bitterly, “Why him? Why not me?”
Kami met his gaze and a somber look entered his eye before he glanced over Kishu’s head, “Hinata?”
“Of course,” Hinata quickly left the room.
“You’re feeling bitter about the lot life’s dealt you I see,” Kami mused.
“Growing up on the street hungry has a way of doing that to you,” Kishu replied, “The temples preach that you watch over everyone and ensure peace and prosperity for those who are kind and good, issuing punishment on those who do wrong. So what did I do to deserve a life on the street as an orphan?”
Kami chewed quietly for a moment, “How much do you know about my Shrine Maidens?”
Kishu’s brow furrowed, “They renounce any titles or holdings they might have and become your priestesses, supposedly your brides. The temples grow food and provide it to the less fortunate, but the Shrine Maidens don’t do any of the hard physical labor because those seeking to atone for their sins do it as penance. I never believed it until now, but I guess it makes sense now that I know you actually do take a human form to talk to people. Must be a pretty good deal,” he scowled, “Give up any responsibilities you might have to be Kami’s personal slut and have him take care of you forever with a side helping of eternal youth and immortality.”
“I only appear in the flesh for certain special cases,” Kami replied before adding nonchalantly, “And you really shouldn’t talk about your mother that way.”
“My moth-WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY MOTHER?!” Kishu demanded as he leapt to his feet. Then it hit him, “ARE YOU TELLING ME MY MOTHER IS A SHRINE MAIDEN?!”
“You are familiar with my temple in the Land of Stone correct? Can you think of none there who were kind to you? I know of at least one.”
Kishu’s heart pounded as memories flooded back to him and tears sprang to his eyes, “K-Kurotsuchi-sama? Kurotsuchi-sama is my mother?”
Kami nodded, “Nothing in this world ruins a good person faster than a life of privilege and entitlement. The sons of nobles are raised among the men they lead, so that their position will not cloud their judgment. A ruler is no better than anyone else, although it is very easy for them to forget that, especially a few generations in. It’s only appropriate then for a child of mine to be raised free of any lofty titles that would misguide him or taint his ideals.”
“I’m sorry that your life has been hard,” he continued quietly, “But you’ve grown into a fine young man worthy of praise. You’ve passed every test of character I’ve set before you and done me proud at every turn. I have one last trial for you, and if you do as well as I’m sure you will, then I hope the rewards will at least begin to make up for how lousy a father I’ve been. Next time you see Kuro-chan, she’ll be able to openly claim you as her son, and I’ll vouch for the truth of it myself. Be warned though, once people know you’re my son, a lot of responsibility will fall on your shoulders. If you want, you can go home and work at the temple with Kuro-chan. It’s a good quiet life and not one I’d begrudge you in the slightest. If you would prefer to do something else, I’ll help however I can.”
“…No,” Kishu said quietly after a moment before raising his head to meet Kami’s gaze, “What is this trial? I want to make K-Mother proud.”
Kami smiled and then suddenly Kishu was tackled to the ground by a sobbing form he knew very well, “Kishu-kun!”
“K-Kurotsuchi-sama?!”
Kurotsuchi flashed a watery glare up at him, “Mother, I very much liked being called Mother.”
Kishu blinked and then tears flooded fresh to his eyes, “R-right, s-sorry Mom. Just, takes a little getting used to.”
…
The High Priestess smiled as she subtly listened in on the happy revelation with her far beyond human hearing and then as she sent the most recent supplicant on their way to a meditation room, “Onee-chan, would you mind taking over out here for a few minutes?”
Her elder sister walked over from where she was overseeing the collection of tributes to Kami, “Yeah sure. You alright?”
The High Priestess nodded, “I just need to do something right quick.”
Her sister’s eyes lit with understanding and she sighed with a small smile, “Fine, fine, don’t get too carried away though. Next please.”
The High Priestess turned and left swiftly, disappearing into the bowels of the temple. Quickly passing through several magical doors which would open only for the Shrine Maidens, and then through one final one that was keyed to her touch alone, she stepped into a garden that far shamed any of the ones outside. It was nowhere near as grand as the gardens surrounding the temple, but it held a sense of intimacy that only the High Priestess was allowed to enjoy. The garden was quite small compared to any other garden at any other temple, filled mostly with orange and black flowers around stones of polished white marble.
She quickly made her way over the small wooden bridge and quietly gurgling stream that ran through the center of the garden and made her way to the beautiful tree in its center. Seated at its base was a weathered man whose face was young despite the snow white hair and the weariness that visibly permeated his entire being. Tears were streaming down his face from behind the hand over his eyes as the High Priestess knelt next to him and pulled him into her bosom, “You alright Koga-kun?”
“My son…my son doesn’t hate me!” Koga choked out as he clung to the woman who for years had been his strongest lifeline to his humanity with a massive smile.
“Being Kami has its burdens, and being the son of Kami does too. Kishu-kun’s smart enough to understand that,” Naruko told him quietly.
Koga nodded and silence reigned for several minutes before Naruko asked, “Will our son have to endure trials like him?”
Koga nodded as the tears started fresh, “He’ll be the strongest of al-wait what?!” He sat up in surprise, his normally solid black eyes snapping to the normal looking but vibrantly orange ones that had first caught Naruko’s attention in surprise. Naruko smiled and guided his hand to her stomach, “It’s been two months. I guess you’ve been a little too busy to notice, but I’m certain.” She leaned in and Koga found himself utterly lost in her gaze as just before their lips met she whispered, “Happy Birthday Koga-kun.”
AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
THE END.
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AFTERWORD
First of all, I’d like to thank everyone for reading this story, I sincerely hope you all enjoyed it. I’m very sorry that this epilogue took so long to churn out, but I hope you enjoyed it.
My passion for the Naruverse has thoroughly burned out, so this will quite likely be my last work involving Naruto. I am pleased to say that I think it is quite likely my finest, and I hope you agree.
Since I’m sure that many of you have questions, allow me to clarify what I suspect will be some of the more frequent ones:
-> Koga used Plague Sentience to seal the chakra of everyone in the Elemental Nations and erase all record of it except what is lodged within the House.
-> He also used genjutsu and the sheer virtually unlimited scope of power that Plague Sentience gives him to completely rewrite history, setting himself up as the sole god of the Elemental Nations. There weren’t any in that neck of the woods, so he was able to do so unimpeded.
-> Naruko, Tsubaki, Tenten and Anko are the only ones in the Elemental Nations aside from Koga who remember the truth, and they were only allowed to because Koga needed someone to help keep him in check. Tsubaki became Hokage after Jiraiya, Naruko became Koga’s High Priestess, Tenten is a Shrine Maiden, and Anko became the infamous, immortal and heartbreakingly beautiful Snake Witch who is said to aid the worthy, punish the wicked and teach arcane secrets to those willing and worthy to learn. Tsubaki fully intends to retire back to the Temple once a suitable successor for the Hat pops up.
-> Koga has three daughters who are older than Kishu with Athena, the Norse Goddess of Death Hel who he won the heart of by expressing nothing but concern when he encountered her in Niflheim and saw the state of her immortal form (half alive half withered corpse) and immediately repaired it using senjutsu empowered medical ninjutsu, and his eldest child is with Helen of Sparta who requested he sire an heir and Menelaus advocated for it as well due to the Spartan belief that one must be in the prime of their life to sire the strongest child possible. Hard to get more prime than a literal god you know.
-> The Europe Arc did still take place even if I’m probably never going to write it, and it was indeed epic, ending with Koga throwing down with Poseidon and WINNING to stop the end of the world, after which he was granted Athena’s hand in marriage. I’m not going to say anymore about it just in case I ever DO get the urge to come back and write it. It should be noted though that Koga started his ‘Ultimate Rewrite’ of history at the end of Chapter 22 right after he realized he could.
-> Yes Athena and Hel both know he’s got a harem scattered across the globe and they don’t mind since they get to enjoy too, and each of them have a clone who lives with them permanently and is completely devoted to their respective bride.
-> Apollo DID get Anko pregnant, just not on their first encounter. Their daughter Himitsu is about the same age as Kishu.
-> Koga’s not one to just go and snatch lovers away from each other to sate his own lust, but he is prone to growing clones to be his Shrine Maidens, which is how the Shrine Maiden Inoni became a thing (Ino – ni (as in 2)). There’s also a clone of Sakura running around.
-> Neji became the heir to the Hyuga Main House because the Main/Branch family system was erased along with knowledge of what the Byakugan can do, he later married Leelee and they have three sons who all love their Grampy Guy.
-> Hinata and Hanabi both became Shrine Maidens. Hinata will eventually have a daughter named Himawari (because Himawari is adorable), and Hanabi will have a daughter named Yumiko.
-> Shikamaru is still a shinobi and later got pegged to be the Lord of Fire’s chief tactician, which he declared immensely troublesome
-> Choji wound up becoming a very successful baker instead of a shinobi since with no jutsu, he’s really not cut out for it. Ino wound up marrying him for his cooking.
-> Sakura did eventually snag Sasuke with far greater ease than in canon due to the fact that he never became an angsty revenge obsessed nutjob and they get along very well. They have a daughter named Himiko because Sakura was not allowed to name her while high out of her mind on pain meds. Himiko has perfect eyesight, slightly curly hair and looks nothing like Karin. Why? Because I really hate Sarada’s entire design that’s why.
-> Itachi and Izumi got married and had at least one child every year for ten years (two sets of twins and one of triplets), which leads to a fair bit of teasing from their friends.
-> Chino wound up running Koga’s temple in the Land of Steam
-> The Sand Sisters (Temari, Kankara, and Gaara-chan) run Koga’s Temple in the Land of Wind
-> Kurotsuchi is the head Shrine Maiden of the Land of Stone and had the surprise honor of giving birth to Koga’s first son Kishu. Akatsuchi became the Fourth Tsuchikage instead.
-> Tayuya is the head Shrine Maiden of the Land of Rice Paddies and will eventually have a son named Akaryu who will be a genjutsu master
-> Fuu is the head Shrine Maiden of the Land of Waterfalls. She will eventually have twins with startlingly white hair named Shiro and Shirahoshi.
-> Haku got a med-nin empowered sex change courtesy of Koga and is now the head Shrine Maiden of the Land of Water. Mei Terumi is of course the Mizukage.
-> Orochimaru was eventually tracked down and proven to be completely genjutsu free, Danzo had nothing to do with him being off his rocker, so Jiraiya killed him with a bit of help from Koga to make sure the snakey bastard didn’t get away. This legendary battle won Jiraiya the title of Hokage whether he wanted it or not. Tsunade persuaded him it was a good idea by calling him ‘Hokage-sama’ in a very sexy voice. He found that extremely difficult to argue with.
-> Kurenai was a Shrine Maiden, but Asuma was able to woo her and Koga saw them off with much applause and congratulations. Their daughter Mirai Sarutobi got to meet her grandfather and has two younger siblings who are a handful. (Yes that does mean Koga banged Kurenai.)
-> Yes, Koga also eventually banged Anko and she became one of his regular partners.
-> Koga’s actually the one behind the monsters as it gives the shinobi something to do and provides a nice outside force for humanity to unite against. It doesn’t always work, but between the occasional disturbances and Plague Sentience, he’s managed to keep things mostly peaceful.
-> For anyone curious about what Naruko’s High Priestess outfit looks like, look up Fate Dress of Heaven.
-> Koga wasn’t able to fix everything, and he still needs constant help to keep from being crushed under the pressure, which is why he has his Shrine Maidens. All things considered though, he considers it a far better world than what it was.
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Once again, thank you all for reading and I sincerely hope you’ve enjoyed!
This has been Brilliant Minds and Black Hearts,
I am Chuckling-Ghost,
And in the famous words of Porky the Pig…
D-d-d-d-DAT’S ALL FOLKS!
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
12/23/2020
