chuckling_ghost

AN: This story is part of a larger one shot fanfiction which was done as a request. Disclaimer, I do not own One Piece or any characters, concepts or places therein. The first and third parts have been excluded due to containing some rather graphic/disturbing imagery in the first part and gratuitous NSFW content in the third. Also, a few terms from the franchise's lore have been replaced with more general terms to make it easier to understand for those unfamiliar with the series.

Prior to this opening scene, Captain 'Red Handed' Atlas was given a chance to claim the beautiful and undefeated gladiator Rebecca as his slave if he could defeat her in the coliseum of the country he and his crew were visiting to sell off their latest hold full of slaves. Atlas publicly stripped and humiliated Rebecca in the process of effortlessly defeating her with an overwhelming advantage in strength and speed. Rebecca's defeat was so brutally overwhelming that even though Atlas didn't harm her in the slightest, the crowd that had only moments before howled for her blood could only stare in silent shock as Atlas carried her out of the ring in nothing but her loincloth and boots.

=~=~=~=

Rebecca glanced around as Atlas carried her up the gangplank onto his utterly massive ship. She was completely emotionally exhausted, and she was physically a bit worn out from her ‘fight’ with Atlas as well. Atlas paused to talk to someone and Rebecca was vaguely aware that they considered it grudgingly good news. Atlas jostled her a moment later and turned to show her face to the man he was talking to.

The man in question had black hair that stuck up on the sides with red undertones. He had a sophisticated posture about him and his clean shaven face was clearly that of a wealthy businessman, as was the spotless black suit. He examined her with an almost bored eye before looking past her with a small smile, “She’s lovely Atlas, first time I’ve seen you pick one that wasn’t utterly terrified when you got her. Do you suppose she’ll get on well with the other two?”

“She has a choice in the matter?” Atlas asked dryly over his shoulder.

The man chuckled, “I suppose not. You’re right, silly question. I suppose I should inform Sway that you won’t be joining us in the galley tonight?”

“That’s right, would you mind telling him to send up four plates to my cabin?” Atlas replied.

The man smiled, “Do you even have to ask?”

“Thank you Ryuga,” Atlas replied, “I’m going to go drop Rebecca off and then I’ll be back out to supervise our departure.”

Ryuga nodded, “Of course,” then he looked Rebecca in the eye and added, “Welcome aboard The Storm Queen, Princess Rebecca.”

That still felt so strange for Rebecca to hear, she wanted to protest that she wasn’t a princess, that she was just an ordinary girl who liked to pick flowers, but the voice of reason in the back of her mind stilled her tongue. If Atlas thought she was a princess, then he thought she was valuable, which meant she wouldn’t be tossed aside like trash. Princess or not, she thought faintly, I can’t let him think I’m worthless…

Atlas spoke to several more members of his crew, and every time, she was shown off like some kind of prize.

A man with soot and grease all over him and his sleeveless white shirt who looked like he might be Atlas’s brother aside from the green hair, examined her closely, “You sure she’s alright? She’s kinda dead-fish lookin’.”

Atlas laughed out a big booming sound, “You wouldn’t say that if you had seen her in the ring! Apparently she was an undefeated gladiator until I showed up! She’s no match for one of us, but she’s got plenty enough fire in her to warm my bed!”

The green haired man smirked, “Oh? Are you finally going to let me have Vivi-chan then?”

Atlas whirled about to roar, “HELL NO! I GAVE YOU MARGUERITTE AND CONIS! THAT’S AN ANGEL AND AN AMAZON, CROWLEY!”

Crowley laughed, “Calm down Atlas, you know I’m just joking.”

Atlas huffed, “Yeah and you’ve long since beaten that horse to death. You get your exotics, I get my princesses, Ryuga gets his singers, Sway gets the cooks and everyone else gets theirs by request or dice. That’s how we’ve always done it, that’s how we’re always gonna do it!”

“So since I get the exotics…” Crowley started with a wry grin.

“HELL NO YOU CAN’T HAVE SHIRAHOSHI EITHER!” Atlas snapped, “I ALREADY GAVE YOU KEIMI AND THE FULL PROFIT FOR THAT OCTOPUS YOU CAUGHT! YOU BLOODY WELL KNOW THE DEALS! FIRST MERMAID TO YOU, MERMAID PRINCESS TO ME!”

Crowley just laughed and strolled off. Rebecca might’ve paid attention, but just then a beautiful young woman with lilac colored hair, a black dress and a tastefully small black choker around her neck was peering up at her with interested blue eyes. “She’s really cute Captain!” she exclaimed excitedly.

Atlas looked over his shoulder with a grin, “Carina. Yes I think she’s going to be terribly fun.” He jostled Rebecca gently, “Oy, Rebecca, say hi to Carina. She’s one of Ryuga’s girls.”

“Hi…” Rebecca murmured faintly.

Carina looked at her with an expression of concern, “Captain, is she alright?”

“She’s just coming to terms with things,” Atlas replied, “I’m gonna let Vivi explain everything to her before this evening.”

Carina smiled, and Rebecca noted that it really was a beautiful smile, “Oh! Well that’ll make her feel better for sure then! See you around Rebecca!”

Rebecca watched her go and mumbled, “She seems…happy…”

Atlas glanced over his shoulder at her, “Hmm? Yeah, why wouldn’t she be?”

Rebecca pondered that for several minutes and then Atlas opened a door and called, “Oy Vivi! I’m home!”

A woman’s voice called back, “Welcome home! Um, I’m trying to…Shirahoshi!” The cry of shock was the only warning before Rebecca was jostled by someone throwing themselves against the pirate captain and beating his chest.

“You horrible brute! Meany! Big ugly jerk-face! Meanymeanymeany! Stupid slaving human! How could you?! Those were innocent people! How can you just snatch them away from their homes and sell them into-eek!” The protester was silenced by what sounded a lot like a hand clamping around her throat.

Atlas carried Rebecca into the room, kicking the door shut behind him, and Rebecca couldn’t help but notice that while there was no sign of his assailant behind them, she couldn’t hear any footsteps besides his either. Then she was unceremoniously dumped onto a couch and she got her first glimpse of ‘Vivi’ and the other girl who she guessed to be Shirahoshi.

Shirahoshi was a mermaid, that was the first thing that caught Rebecca’s attention although it took her a second to understand what she was seeing as the red and white tail flapped helplessly. Atlas did indeed have her by the throat and was easily holding her a foot off the ground. Vivi gently tugged Rebecca to her and Rebecca glanced over her shoulder to see a pale face full of tight lipped powerless horror as the blue haired girl watched the terrifying captain.

“Meany?” Atlas asked in a low, dangerous voice, “This for the man who saved your family and kingdom from rebellion, as well as saving your dear father the cost of imprisoning the rebels?”

Shirahoshi struggled against his grip with tears pouring from her eyes, “You tore through Ryugu Kingdom like a plague, snatching everyone and everything you pleased! You punched poor Megalo so hard he stopped moving when he tried to save me and you beat up the guards and my brothers even more than they already were! Now you’ve sold not just the pirates you captured but also the nice civilians! You sold them like cattle!”

Atlas exhaled slowly, “You know Shirahoshi, I didn’t want to do this…” Shirahoshi immediately froze with a look of terror on her face, “…but your empty headed whining has really been wearing on my nerves in the week since I brought you aboard, and for all that you claim to care about the fish folk we captured, you never once asked to go see them.”

Shirahoshi flinched like she had been slapped as Atlas continued, “So now you’re striking me as a bit of a hypocrite, and on top of that you’re irritating me again after a week straight of putting up with your constant crying. I haven’t even done anything to make you more compliant because I was trying to be polite and give you time to adjust to the idea of being mine.” Then he yanked her very close and snarled, “No. More.”

He tossed her over his shoulder the same way he had Rebecca, although there was no room for doubt that he was far less gentle with Shirahoshi than he’d been with Rebecca. He turned an imperious gaze on Vivi and Rebecca, “I’m taking this one to Ryuga for an attitude adjustment. I’m sure I don’t need to explain to you how bad a mood this puts me in Vivi, so do please explain things to Rebecca while I’m gone.”

Vivi nodded slowly, “Of course, I’ll make sure she understands everything.”

“Good.” With that he stormed out, Shirahoshi flailing and sobbing in bitter terrified protest over his shoulder as she begged Vivi to stop him. Vivi’s grip on Rebecca tightened enough that Rebecca wondered if it would leave bruises, but she made no move or sound to draw the captain’s ire.

Silence reigned for what seemed like a long time and then Vivi let out a jagged breath she hadn’t even realized she was holding. “Alright,” she said quietly, “Since you’ve clearly already met the illustrious captain, turn around so we can introduce ourselves.”

Rebecca turned and got her first good look at the other girl. Her hair was long and a light sky blue, pulled back in a ponytail except for the bangs on either side framing her face. She was beautiful, there was no arguing that, but the melancholy in her chocolate brown eyes lent everything about her a tragic look. She was well endowed, especially for someone with such an otherwise slim figure, and her soft white t-shirt looked like it could barely contain her. The sight of the nearly transparent fabric made Rebecca remember her own state of undress.

Vivi tucked her long well toned legs under her and sighed, “My name is Vivi Nefertari, princess and sole heir to the throne of the Kingdom of Alabasta. I’m also one of the first slaves that was ever kept on this ship, as… as Atlas’s plaything.”

She took a shuddering breath and forced the best smile she could, “What about you? What’s your name?”

“I, I’m Rebecca. I, don’t know why he thinks I’m a princess,” Rebecca admitted, “I’m just a girl from the countryside who likes to pick flowers. Then Doflamingo came and took over and when I spoke out against him I was thrown into the coliseum as a gladiator.”

Vivi’s smile took on a sincere note, “It sounds like there’s something Doflamingo knew that you didn’t.”

Rebecca’s eyes widened in shock, “Wait, you mean…”

Vivi nodded, “It’s pretty standard practice with coups to dispose of the previous royal family by any means necessary to prevent a possible return. You say he tossed you into a coliseum to make you fight for your life on a daily basis? And now you’re here, on a ship bound for who knows where, probably to never see Dressrosa again. It sounds to me like Doflamingo wants you gone by any means necessary.”

Rebecca slumped back against the couch in shock, “I’m…a princess?”

Vivi grimaced, “Well…you were a princess. Now you’re a slave to possibly the most infamous pirate of his generation.”

Rebecca flinched, “Yes, that’s…what I’m hearing. You said you’ve been here a while, what can you tell me about him?”

Vivi’s grimace grew, “Entirely too much. He can’t remember who he was born as, Atlas isn’t even his real name he doesn’t think. He woke up in the Western Ocean with a big bloody cut around his eye one day and set off into the world to make a name for himself. He wound up meeting Ryuga and Crowley and they formed the Red-Handed Pirates after he single handedly massacred an entire city guard while robbing a bank in broad daylight in that nation’s capitol. Bullets and blades bounce off him, strangling doesn’t work and one time he survived being lost at sea for over three months with no food or water. He’s so fast he might as well be invisible and he’s every bit as strong as he is durable. I’ve seen him beat Elementals to death with his bare hands before taking their powers for members of his crew.

“He himself uses Gamu, a miscellaneous class ability which lets him generate and control any amount of an absurdly sticky and elastic, non-conductive and non-hydrous gum. It can’t be electrocuted, it can’t be dried out, and it can’t be cut or pulled apart. If he encounters an opponent who can freeze it, he just generates more and more until his opponent is overwhelmed and buried. If his opponent can burn it, he just generates more and smothers the flames. If you try shooting cannons or guns at him, he’ll just conjure a wall of that stuff and fling everything back at you before snatching your weapons and using them as a giant flail.”

She snorted out a small bitter laugh, “At first it sounds like it should be a near useless power, but the way he uses it? Even with those two of those three Elementals' powers given to members of this crew, he’s still the indisputable strongest man aboard.”

She took a breath, “He’s got a curious definition of ‘helping’ that makes sure nobody would ever dare ask this crew for help if they knew about it in advance. His idea of helping me save my kingdom from one of the Seven Warlords was to beat the warlord to death in a knock down, drag out brawl that flattened half the city before ordering his crew to tear through what was left of the capitol like a wildfire. They brutalized the soldiers protecting it and took everything that wasn’t nailed down with crowbars on hand for whatever was. They cleaned out the treasury, and then beat the rebel army into submission on their way out. He let me say goodbye to my father and had his crew grab everything of mine they could carry, but it doesn’t change the fact that he still snatched me away from my home and nearly burned it to the ground.”

She took a deep breath and let it out, “All that being said, he is a lot nicer to me than he could be. I’ve seen what some of the other members of this crew do with their slaves, and I know how the World Nobles treat theirs, so I know that as far being stripped of my freedom goes, I’ve got it pretty good. We’re not quite his equals,” she clarified, “but if we do what he says then he’ll actually be surprisingly gentle and considerate most of the time. It, I think it says a lot that he’s never actually hit me, or Shirahoshi, and trust me, he’s really wanted to beat her into quiet submission since she was brought aboard. Given how quick he usually is to shout and smack his crew around, it’s actually very impressive that she made it as long as she did,” Vivi told her quietly.

“Now though,” she continued, “He’s taking her to Ryuga, his first mate. Ryuga uses the power of Kata, which allows him to mold anything to his liking…including the minds of others. When Atlas and Shirahoshi get back, she’ll be completely different. You saw how upset she was? That’ll be gone when she gets back. If it’s anything like what Ryuga does with most of the girls sent to him, she’ll be happy, horny and completely devoted to Atlas. It’s, one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever seen,” she admitted quietly, “I’ve been playing along to Atlas’s whims ever since the first time I saw Ryuga do it because I’m terrified of him erasing me like he has so many other girls. Half of this crew used to be their enemies, but once Ryuga gets his hands on them?” She snapped her fingers, “It’s like they’ve been with the crew since its inception.”

“What’s he going to do to us?” Rebecca asked quietly.

Vivi took a deep breath, “His demands are, actually fairly reasonable. We keep him company, don’t upset him, generally act like housewives because that’s about how he considers us…and perform any sexual act he desires. He…won’t rape us, and he is actually shockingly gentle when I have sex with him. He hasn’t actually dragged Shirahoshi to bed yet because he’s been giving her time to adjust, but I don’t think he’d hesitate to let Ryuga do a number on us if we refused him either.”

Rebecca sank into the couch a little further, “Is he at least good in bed?”

Vivi blushed slightly, “I, don’t have any experience with anyone other than him, but he usually goes out of his way to make sure I usually orgasm at least once. It doesn’t really matter though, anything’s better than what the ship’s doctor Toru does to Perona…” she shuddered lightly, “Come on, let’s…let’s get you something to wear. It’ll be skimpy, but it’s better than running around half naked like that, and he’s almost certainly going to be in a mood to claim his prize when he gets back this evening.”

“This evening?” Rebecca asked.

“Atlas and his crew never stay long in a port they’re not plundering,” Vivi explained, “The whole ship’s in a frenzy right now to resupply and weigh anchor. All their captives were sold today, so they’ll want to head out and start another run as soon as possible. Come on, we shouldn’t be sitting around not getting ready for him when he gets back with Shirahoshi.”

==That Evening==

After Dressrosa had faded away to nothing but a glow on the horizon, Atlas headed for the galley. “Hoy Sway! Ya got my order ready?”

A horned head full of green and yellow hair popped up from behind the assembly line like prep table where the crew’s meals were prepared by Sway and his lovely assistants, “What’s up Atlas?”

“Four meals, something that’ll be good cold too,” Atlas declared impatiently, “I finally got fed up with that bubble headed mermaid’s crying and took her to Ryuga, so she’s probably gonna want to jump my bones the instant I get in, and I got a new one today too, so I probably won’t be eating right away.”

Sway laughed, “I’m not surprised, she would’ve seen him right away if it had been me! But yeah, we got a couple of pizzas left over from lunch. Lemme get ‘em boxed up for ya. HOY! LUCY! Box up those left over pizzas from earlier, Cap’s havin’ em for dinner tonight!”

“Right away Chef!” called a pretty blonde in a chef’s hat who was wearing nothing but an apron over her immense chest as she immediately hurried to retrieve the pizzas in question. A few moments later she bounced back to the front with a stack of boxes and a big smile, “Here you go Captain!”

Atlas accepted the boxes with a polite smile, “Thank you Lucy.” Then his eye twitched as he took in her gorgeous tits all but bursting from behind her apron and ready smile. He looked at Sway, “Make sure you fuck this one tonight. Extensively. DAMMIT THOSE ARE NICE TITS…”

Sway laughed as Lucy blushed at the praise, “Ya ain’t gotta tell me twice!”

Atlas nodded, “Good.” He turned and headed back up to the deck, nonchalantly knocking some of his more rambunctious crew mates away with his free hand as they attempted to tackle him for the pizzas in his hand. “Get off. Bugger off. Beat it. No. Scram. Down. Down. DOWN you dumb sea dog. Not for you. No I’m not sharing. Go get your own. Didn’t I smack you already? Get! No! OFF! DID YOUR FOOL ASS JUST BITE ME?! OKAY!” He roared as he kicked the man in question away, “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!”

He tossed his pizzas into the air and his fists flashed out in a flurry of sharp hard motion that instantly rebuffed the three men known as the ‘Starving Mutts’ for their manners, constant hunger and the fact that they were all dog based shapeshifters. They were also unabashedly dimwits who Atlas only tolerated because of their unyielding loyalty and strength. The fact that they healed quickly made them ideal sparring partners as well. Now if only I could train the stupid out of them, Atlas mused as his fists sent them crashing into the walls of the narrow hallway half unconscious.

Atlas caught his pizzas out of the air with ease and made his way on across the deck, up the stairs of the forecastle and up through it to his quarters. He had designed the Storm Queen himself, and he’d made sure to build himself a VERY considerable Captain’s suite to accommodate the harem he’d decided early in his career to build. It was quite a lavish set of rooms as well, a fair deal of the crew’s early loot had gone to building the Storm Queen, and no expense had been spared to ensure that they’d spend it in the height of comfort and luxury. Atlas paused before he opened the door and let out a relieved sigh as he thought about what was waiting for him on the other side of the door. It had been a long damn day, but Vivi always made that better.

He pushed the door open, “Vivi! Shirahoshi! Rebecca! I’m home!” He blinked when he realized that none of them were in the living room. Usually Vivi liked to sit on the couch with one of the numerous books he made a point to procure for her at every opportunity, so if she wasn’t there… He reached out with his sixth sense, “The bathroom?” A grin spread across his face, “Are they taking a bath together?” The tub was certainly big enough.

Atlas stretched his senses a little more and a broad grin split his face as he heard Vivi step away from the other two and walk over to the door. She opened it and poked her head out with a smile, “Hey Atlas, we’re almost done. Would you mind waiting on the couch?”

Atlas took one look at her, hair down and trying to curl while her face was flushed from the heat of the bath and knew his answer immediately, “I can give them a few more minutes, but I need you right now.”

Vivi pouted, “Aw…I wanted to get dressed up nice and sexy for you!” It was an act, Vivi wanted nothing of the sort, but it would put off being in Atlas’s arms a little longer. The brief pleasure his ministrations could provide was nothing compared to how soiled she always felt afterwards.

Atlas leaned down and Vivi could see the unbridled lust in his eyes as he lifted her chin. She didn’t fight the kiss, that would almost certainly end with a visit to Ryuga now that Atlas had been so delighted with the effects on Shirahoshi. It wasn’t a hot kiss, not for her, but it was enough to satisfy Atlas for a little while. He gently stroked her cheek, “Don’t keep me waiting too long, ‘kay?”

Vivi issued a small smile, “Just be patient, I’m sure you’re going to like this.”

Atlas quirked a small smile at her, “Ok, just don’t take too long okay?”

“See you in a few!” Vivi told him with a wink before closing the door.

Atlas heaved a sigh at the door and walked over to the couch. He sat down and pulled a jar from his pocket, I didn’t want to use this… “Effect Gum.” But there’s no mistaking how she feels either. An unusually warm pink gum flowed free from his fingers and filled the jar, turning it swiftly into a candle.

Atlas was far from unaware that Vivi despised him. He’d known it from the instant he gave the order to sack Alubarna. It hadn’t bothered him until recently…the night he’d realized that even if she hated him, she’d still managed to make him fall for her. It hadn’t been a pleasant realization, but it wasn’t one he could ignore either. So now with a somewhat heavy heart as he recalled the sense of repugnance she’d regarded their kiss with, he drew a match and lit the newly made candle.

The Effect Gum wasn’t like his normal gum, it wasn’t durable at all. It was made to burn, and in doing so produce copious amounts of undetectable aphrodisiac smoke that would make the three girls in the bathroom utterly wild with need. It sickened him a little that he was having to resort to this and the second variety of Effect Gum he’d concocted to use on Vivi later, but he’d gone out of his way to treat her as kindly as he could for over two years now and there was no way to ignore the fact that it wasn’t enough to make up for Alubarna. It would never be enough to make up for Alubarna.

Shirahoshi and Rebecca were beautiful, there was no doubt, but Vivi had been with him for nearly three years and that had left its mark. Tonight Vivi, he thought with a grim smile, You’re mine.

In mere minutes the gum burned away into colorless odorless vapor, but Atlas could tell as he shed his coat and shirt that it had thoroughly permeated the room. He took a deep breath and sat back, resigning himself to wait when he suddenly heard the bathroom door open. “Keep your eyes closed!” Vivi called teasingly. She is such a good actress, Atlas mused as he closed his eyes. Then a smile spread across his face, Oh well. It won’t be an act for much longer.

Chapter 3 - The Hokage

==The Next Day==

The Academy had a fairly good schedule I thought, Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays were all mental and theoretical stuff, and Tuesdays Thursdays and Saturdays were all physical. The next day was Wednesday, and the first thing on the agenda was a little game. It was called “What’s the password?” To win, all you had to do was get your opponent to cough up the password.

I think throwing Takaoka across the room, pouncing on top of him and driving my fist through the wall next to his head before demanding the password or else was a perfectly valid strategy.

When Iruka demanded to know what I was doing and I replied “an interrogation”, Iruka turned almost as interesting a shade of red as Takaoka was pale. Before Iruka could find a response, I turned to Takaoka with a grade A death glare, “Well? The password?” Takaoka stammered it out and I immediately bounced up, helped him to his feet and smiled, “Thank you Takaoka. I win.”

“THAT IS NOT HOW YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO PLAY THE GAME!” Iruka shouted.

I gave him a deadpan stare, “Interrogations are a game? I’m sure the ANBU would find that very interesting.” I was promptly informed I had detention that afternoon, and then it was doubled because I called Iruka a spoilsport.

After that game was over, we moved onto military strategy, which consisted of a game very similar to chess called Shogi. I was paired off with Naruko because everybody else was worried I’d have a tactic for Shogi like my strategy for “password”. I did not. I had a very pleasant time learning how to play Shogi with ‘Ruko-chan. We played five times over the hour, and we were evenly matched, two for me, two for her and one match interrupted by Iruka moving on to the next lesson.

The next lesson was signaling and I had to resist the urge to teach the class some very interesting hand signals aimed at Iruka. He was really starting to get on my nerves being such a humorless stiff. Pointing at your eyes and then what you want your partner to look at was a perfectly valid way to tell them where to look, and pointing at your head while holding your fingers a centimeter apart is a perfectly valid way to call somebody a pea brain. I had detention for a week after that one.

Next was “Spiritual Refinement”, or in simple layman’s terms trying to activate our chakra so we could use it for jutsu. I remembered my chakra manifesting the night before when I was angry, so as I folded myself into a cross legged meditative position on my little mat, I closed my eyes and started thinking of everything that had ever made me furious. It didn’t take long for me to work myself into a red eyed rage, and as my eyes snapped open at the first sound, I saw the entire class except for ‘Ruko-chan and Sasuke huddled behind Iruka staring in terror. ‘Ruko-chan and Sasuke were looking at me in awe rather than fear.

I shook my head and banished my rage back into the dark recesses of my mind. The massive violent purple miasma of chakra around me dissipated immediately and I heard several held breaths being let out. I leaned forward and propped my chin on my fist, “So Iruka-sensei, what’s next?”

“THAT’S NOT HOW YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO IT!” Iruka shouted as his head grew to the about double the size of a beach ball, “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO FIND HARMONY WITH YOUR CHAKRA, NOT TAP INTO IT WITH ANGER! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SO ANGRY ABOUT ANYWAY?!”

I thought for a moment and then I answered calmly, “Number one, I was in perfect harmony with my chakra, I was ready to wreck something and my chakra was ready to help me. Perfect harmony of power and intent. Number two, what was I angry at? I was angry at quite a great number of things which have long since become irrelevant to me but which I can still easily use as kindling to help fuel the fire of my wrath. Now it’s your turn Sensei, what are you so angry about? I have accessed my chakra, was that not the point of this exercise?”

Iruka was making a visible effort to control himself as he snapped a finger towards the door, “Outside. Now.” I shrugged and rose to my feet, calmly letting myself out the door and waited. A few moments later, Iruka stepped out, “Follow me.”

I followed him down several hallways and up a few flights of steps to a door which he knocked on. A voice called through it, “Who is it?”

“Iruka sir,” Iruka replied, “I’m having a little trouble with a student and I need your guidance in dealing with the matter.”

There was a pause and then, “Come in.”

Iruka opened the door and ushered me through into the Hokage’s office. I quickly went and peered over the top of the desk with a smile, “Naruko says hi.”

Hiruzen Sarutobi looked at me, “Ah I see, you’re Naruko’s friend. I heard something about you encouraging her to move out of the orphanage?”

My expression darkened, “Forget encouraged Lord Hokage, that place is a horrible…” I struggled for a minute to find a word, “It’s just horrible. I couldn’t let ‘Ruko-chan stay in a place like that. If I could get all the kids out, I’d torch it rather than let a place that would make the people it was supposed to be taking care of so sad remain standing.”

Hiruzen’s brow furrowed, “Explain.”

“Have you been in there?!” I demanded, “The whole place oozes gloom and sadness! ‘Ruko-chan’s an unquenchable little ball of sunshine, and she looked like she wanted to die rather than go back in there! I didn’t see a single smile in there, and the accommodations are utterly dismal. It’s more fit to be a prison than a place for children!”

Hiruzen frowned, “I see. I shall have to make an inspection of the orphanage. You seem very protective of Naruko, may I ask why?”

“She’s my best friend,” I replied bluntly, “But even if she wasn’t, she’s Leaf. That means I protect her right?”

Hiruzen blinked and then nodded with a small smile on his face, “Yes, yes it does. Iruka, exactly what problems are you having with, I’m sorry child what was your name? I didn’t catch it.”

“Koga sir, Koga Kurohyou,” I answered, “Iruka-sensei doesn’t like my jokes and interrogation strategy and thinks it’s bad that I’m angry about the orphanage making ‘Ruko-chan sad.”

Iruka choked behind me, “That’s what made you so angry?”

I looked over my shoulder and let the rage come flowing back. As my chakra erupted around me in what I later learned was its default state I declared, “If you had seen how sad she was, you would be angry too.”

Iruka paled slightly and then nodded, “Yes I’m sure I would. Lord Hokage, if it’s not too much to request, I’d like to be on the team that investigates the orphanage. Nobody messes with my students.”

I let my rage and chakra aura peter out and then Iruka cleared his throat, “That being said, you still have detention for throwing Takaoka across the room and scaring the living daylights out of him. Oh, and calling me a pea brain.”

I gave him an irritable look, “You wanted me to interrogate him didn’t you? Intimidation is a standard interrogation tactic isn’t it? Sorry if my approach is a little unrefined and blunt, I haven’t been studying to be an interrogator for long. As for calling you a pea brain, you wanted us to communicate nonverbally, and what’s harder to communicate than exact phrasing? Everyone else got it too ya know, and it made them all laugh. Besides, I owed you a verbal jab for disapproving of my highly successful tactics in interrogation.” I looked away and stuffed my hands in my pockets, “I do a good job and get chewed out for it. Yeesh, can’t win for losing.”

Hiruzen frowned as Iruka’s eye twitched, “It seems to me Iruka, that while Koga’s methods are unorthodox, if what he’s saying is true then he is getting the desired results. Perhaps a little less yelling and a little more guiding would work better?”

“Definitely,” I declared, “Yelling only makes me angry.”

Hiruzen nodded, “See there? He does not understand why you disapprove of his methods, and if you shout, he will ignore your advice and then he will not learn. I know you are still a very new teacher Iruka, but you must learn to take your students’ mistakes in stride and keep a level head as you guide them down better paths. Becoming angry will solve nothing and serve only to distance you from your students. If they do not do something right, but think they did, then ask why they did it that way. As with Koga’s interrogation, they may well have had a good reason. Koga, do you know any other methods of interrogation?”

I thought about it, “I’ve heard bribery can work, as can seduction which is just another form of bribery, but I don’t know Takaoka well enough to know what to bribe him with, he’s a guy so I can’t seduce him, and there’s no guarantee that he would give me the right information even if I could bribe or seduce him. Those are the only two nonviolent methods I know of, and as far as violence goes, I think I could’ve done a lot worse than throw him across the room and threaten to punch him.”

Hiruzen nodded, “You see Iruka? Koga was simply utilizing the best option available to him. If you wish for him to not resort to violence when interrogating, teach him a better method. Now what is this about you calling Iruka a pea brain?”

I quickly repeated the gestures which indicated that Iruka was a pea brain and then spread my hands as if to say, “Tada”. Hiruzen blinked and then smiled, “Well Iruka, it seems he has the grasp of nonverbal communication, why don’t you try to teach him new methods of signaling so that he can code his signals rather than having them be so obvious, and explain to him why it is good for his signals to be coded?”

Iruka nodded, “Of course Lord Hokage.”

I grinned and then Hiruzen glanced at me, “You’re still going to have detention you know.”

I made a face, “Dang it!”

Hiruzen snorted a small chuckle, “Let me explain. Your detention is not because you acted out, although that is certainly a component of the reason. You are being held after school so that you can have supervised help with your chakra. It is not supposed to be something you can only access through a strong emotion. To be an effective shinobi you must be able to maintain a level head, and if you must work yourself into a fury to access even your most basic techniques, then you will not be able to remain level headed. You are not the first to access your chakra through your emotions, and you won’t be the last, so we want to help you learn from the mistakes of others as it is very difficult to unlearn something like that.”

I nodded, it made sense, then I paused, “Just one request Lord Hokage?”

Hiruzen leaned forward, “I’m listening.”

“Can ‘Ruko-chan stay late with me for tutoring? She’s living with me now and she might not find her way home without me. I don’t want her to get lost, and I don’t know if she knows how to read, I don’t think she can, so if she could stay late maybe Iruka-sensei could help her with that?”

Hiruzen nodded, “I believe that could be arranged. Iruka?”

Iruka nodded, “Yessir, of course. I’d be happy to.”

I glared at him, “You don’t want to teach ‘Ruko-chan.”

Iruka stiffened, “What makes you say that?” he asked in a tone that clearly meant: How did you know that?

I frowned, “I’m good at reading people, and apparently you stink at puzzles. Can I tell him Lord Hokage?” Hiruzen froze and Iruka looked very irritated.

“How do you know about that?” Hiruzen asked me quietly.

“Who else would he trust with it?” I asked, “Why else would she have the exact same hair and eyes as him? People don’t notice urchins, don’t think we matter because they pretend not to see us, but we see and hear a lot that they don’t want anyone to because we’re nobody to them. I’m not dumb Lord Hokage, it’s obvious to me, and it should be to anyone else who sees her and knows who she is.”

Iruka frowned angrily, “What are you talking about?!”

I looked at Hiruzen and gestured towards the wall with the portraits of the four Hokage on it, “On second thought, can ‘Ruko-chan have a smarter teacher? This one’s too blind to look at the wall.”

Iruka followed my finger, stared for a few minutes and then it visibly hit him like a freight train. All the color went out of him immediately, “Oh Kami…”

Hiruzen sighed, “Iruka, that’s an S-Class secret punishable by death if you reveal it to anyone. I take it Naruko already knows?”

I nodded, “It took her a second and a lot of explaining, but she’s willing to keep it secret, as am I. I only let Iruka-sensei know because he’s going to be our teacher for the next few years. I won’t have someone with such influence over her proceed with only half the story.”

Hiruzen regarded me thoughtfully, “You care about Naruko quite a lot don’t you Koga?”

I nodded and looked down as my fists clenched, “She trusts me. More than that I’m concerned she may love me, and that’s more than I deserve from anybody. So damn it I’m going to be worthy of her trust, even if it kills me. Also,” I added quietly, “I’ve never been so hurt to see someone else sad as I am when I see her that way. I don’t know what this is, but it’s enough that I never want her to be sad again.”

Hiruzen nodded with a slight smile forming, “I see. Very well, I shall allow her to continue living with you, but I would like to come by after you finish your after school study session to make sure your accommodations are suitable for two small children.”

I stiffened slightly and then relaxed and nodded, “Yessir, I’ll come by to get you after we’re done.”

Hiruzen nodded, “Very good. I will see you and Naruko this afternoon. Now, you should get back to class.”

I smiled brightly, “Aye boss!” and zipped out the door and back to class. Iruka wasn’t far behind me although he wasn’t moving quite as quick. I looked over my shoulder and saw he was still looking kind of dazed from realizing who Naruko’s parents were. I didn’t let it slow me and zoomed on back to class. I had to admit, the old guy had a point, it wouldn’t do at all for me to be totally reliant on my rage. I got destructive when I was ragey.

I went back to my little meditating mat next to Naruko’s and smiled as I sat down, “Don’t worry, everything’s fine. I’ll fill you in at lunch.” Naruko nodded with a smile and went back to meditating. I folded myself into a meditative position and steadied and deepened my breathing. I had no idea what my elemental affinity was, so I decided to just try focusing on my internal power. Easier said than done.

I reviewed in my head what chakra was supposed to be, a mix of mental and spiritual energies. I mulled that over for a minute and then I took a deep breath, another one, and one more after that. On that third breath I envisioned the air coming out much stronger, my will taking shape in the form of the wind I was exhaling. I felt and heard things stir around me and I smiled, got it. Now, POWER.

I inhaled deeper this time, and when I exhaled I envisioned a massive gust of wind that would ruffle the hair of everyone in the room and send any loose papers flying. Everyone felt the air move and then I did it again. I smiled, perfect. Then I closed my eyes, I wonder what happens when I add that emotional power to it…I inhaled as big and deep as I could and as I held it I ripped the lid off my rage and let the breath out as a huge roar, envisioning it as a terrible tempest or a shockwave. I got the tempest.

I looked around as things went flying and my classmates dove for cover. I reveled in my power with a grin for a moment or two and then I calmed myself and willed the wind to die down. It didn’t work with just will, so I swiped my hand counter to the wind as I huffed a firm breath out and the wind screeched to a halt with a sound like a distant thunderclap. As debris fell from the air, Iruka slammed the door open, “WHAT WAS THAT?!”

I rocked around in a circle cackling, “I’m windy!” Then I paused, “I wonder what else I can do…”

Iruka seemed to teleport over to rest a hand firmly on my head, “How about you don’t experiment in the classroom and destroy the place?”

I pouted at him, “Spoilsport.”

That afternoon after some careful phrasing at lunch, Naruko delightedly joined Iruka for extra lessons in the training yard and I was pleased to see Iruka going to great lengths to make sure she was understanding what he was teaching her. I meanwhile sat in a fuinjutsu circle and practiced with my chakra. Hiruzen had come by to see what all the noise was earlier and was now personally overseeing my chakra control exercises in case my chakra whipped up another whirlwind. The damn leaf on my forehead just would. Not. STICK. It kept getting blown off by little wind blasts and I kept having to go get it.

Hiruzen had tested my chakra affinity with chakra paper that afternoon just to confirm that I did have Wind Release and that my chakra wasn’t just that ridiculously powerful. It turned out to be both. When the paper should have split down the middle, instead it ripped itself to shreds. Hiruzen and I blinked at it and I looked up at him, “Eh, was it supposed to do that?”

Hiruzen stared and then, “I don’t know that I’ve ever seen it myself, but I’ve heard of it. It’s an especially potent form of Wind Release known as Typhoon Release. It’s extremely rare, extremely powerful and like a typhoon, extremely difficult to control. I or someone skilled in Wind Style will oversee your chakra control exercises until you have a decent degree of control over it. You are not to practice with it during storms or in unprotected areas where it can cause damage to the village if it gets out of control, understood?”

I nodded, it made sense, “Aye Lord Hokage.”

As I continued to try and fail to make the damn leaf stick and turn, Hiruzen eventually stopped me, “It seems we may have to work backwards on your chakra control, narrowing it from the biggest control exercises to the smallest. Go ahead and make the biggest wind you can. The seal will contain it. I wish to see the mechanics of your chakra at work. I have heard that Typhoon Release is more powerful, but I do not know why. So please indulge me that we may better learn the workings of your abilities.”

I nodded and grinned as I glared at the pesky little leaf, I’m gonna blow you sky freakin high. I inhaled and then let it out with all my frustration behind it. I vaguely remembered the one character in canon to have used Typhoon Release making the Bird hand sign, so I made the best approximation of it I could. The wind reacted to my surprise. It reacted very VERY strongly. It went from a contained spiraling gust to a small twister that I couldn’t see out through. I was so surprised by the sudden skyrocket in power that I released the jutsu. The air continued to whirl for a few minutes and then as the dust settled I was left staring at Hiruzen, Iruka and Naruko who were all staring at me.

Hiruzen’s mouth had dropped so much that he almost lost his pipe. I was acutely aware that what I had just pulled was easily a B-Rank technique if my memories of Temari’s jutsu were any indication, and I wasn’t even breathing hard. Hiruzen finally recovered his voice, “Koga-kun, how much energy would you say you have right now?”

I shrugged, “Honestly Lord Hokage, I feel like I could go a round or two in the ring with Iruka-sensei.”

Hiruzen’s mouth tightened around his pipe and he worked it around for a minute as the gears in his brain were almost visible in their churning, then, “Alright, I want you to do that again, and maintain it for as long as you can okay?”

I nodded, “Okaaa-ay…” I folded my hands back into my approximate bird sign and inhaled deep. I envisioned an even stronger twister than before as I exhaled, and I got one. The first one had been the color of the dirt it was ripping up from the Academy yard. This one got darker. I don’t know how high up that seal went, but my twister was pulling in clouds and blotting out the sun from what I could see in the eye of it.

As per the old man’s instructions, I held my pose and kept my breathing steady, trying to focus on maintaining the twister, occasionally giving it little extra breaths to help it stay up to speed.

I don’t know how long I stood there before I started to get stiff, but when I did I decided, Ok, that’s enough. I paused, dropped my hand sign and stretched, noticing that the twister was only weakening just a little bit. With a light puff, it went right back to the power it had been having. I rolled my shoulders and stretched more thoroughly, calmly examining the twister as I willed my breathing to keep powering it. When I finished stretching I just stood there and looked at the inner wall of my personal twister. Then I got tired of standing and crouched. After that my feet started to go to sleep and I sat down.

After what felt like a long time I decided I’d had enough and clapped my hands together with a huge, hard, fast exhalation, ENOUGH!!! The twister screeched to a halt and a massive cloud of dust settled.

I looked around and saw that Hiruzen had had time to go get himself a chair and was reading to Naruko. Iruka had already left and the sun was going down. Hiruzen and ‘Ruko-chan looked up at me. I gave them a slightly grumpy look, “I ain’t tired, I’m just bored outta my skull and need a bath. How long have I been in here?!”

Hiruzen checked a pocket watch, “Three hours and sixteen minutes. It’s almost seven thirty. You say you’re not even tired?”

“Not from the jutsu,” I replied, “The standing for so long thing was uncomfortable. I had to sit down and do some stretches to keep from getting all stiff, but if I’m supposed to be feeling some sort of after effects from the jutsu, either I’m not or they’re so miniscule that I don’t recognize them.”

Hiruzen nodded, “I believe I have a theory then. Your Typhoon Release is not necessarily more powerful than ordinary Wind Release, it is simply far, far more chakra efficient.”

“So I can use a fraction of the chakra most people would have to and get the same or greater results?” I clarified, “Makes sense and is awesome.”

Hiruzen nodded, “Yes but you will have to be very careful and learn the utmost control. With such a powerful multiplier on the effects of your chakra, even the weakest techniques might have titanic effects.”

I smiled, “That sounds pretty epic.”

Hiruzen sighed, “Yes, it will certainly make you a powerful shinobi, although I don’t know that it will not bring its own burdens.”

I twitched an eyebrow at him, “Yeah yeah, it’s super destructive at the drop of a hat. I would’ve been that anyway. I’ll learn to control it and if I can’t fully control it I can at least learn to aim.”

Hiruzen mused on that for a moment and then glanced over at the setting sun, and the numerous curious heads peeking over the school yard wall with all the subtlety of a rampaging elephant, “Well, I think that is quite enough practicing for one day. Come, let’s get you two home. We’ll go by Body Flicker so as not to have a crowd of followers.” He offered a hand and a moment later the three of us were standing halfway across Konoha.

I looked up at him, “How does that jutsu work? I want to be able to do that.”

“It is an advanced form of Substitution relying on using air or leaves or something similar to substitute instead of a solid mass like a log. It’s more chakra intensive than running or ordinary substitution, but I have a feeling that won’t be an issue for either of you. Now then, which way is your home?”

I pulled out the map and smiled as I saw it had a little inked line with an arrow at the tip leading us from our current position home. I pointed and took off with ‘Ruko-chan and Hiruzen following along behind me, “This way.”

Chapter 1 – The House

I stepped out my door and walked to my car. I stopped after three quick steps. I was late for work, I was in a hurry. I was also quite emphatically not at all where I was supposed to be. I turned around, kept turning, looked at the door I had just walked out of, poked my head back in. Yep, still the inside of my humble little two room abode in there, but the back windows were gone, something I hadn’t noticed when I woke up with the lights off, and the door was now a wooden one set into the side of a wood paneled wall.

I turned and looked out over the balcony at the city below me and then as I kept swiveling my head, I spotted something that made my brain break a little. Because really, who expects to walk out their front door on the way to work and step into Konoha? Which is not supposed to even be real! My eye twitched and I nodded thinking to myself, Alright, time to just, go back to bed. I’m clearly dreaming and I will undoubtedly wake up before anything good happen…what is that?

I pulled the letter taped onto my door off, this wasn’t here a minute ago… and I started to read.

==

Congratulations! You have just woken up in a Naruto fanfiction where simply having a somewhat viable brain and common sense will be enough to qualify as nearly story breaker levels of awesomeness. Everyone here is lacking in common sense and creativity, apply those things as you please and this world is your plaything! The powers of the gods are…well still pretty dang god like, but you can still beat them with your wit and guile provided they don’t blast you to paste right off the bat!

Oh, by the way, you’re about to physically become a little kid enrolled in Naruko’s class so that you can learn how to function in this world. Your new name is Koga Kurohyou, no other information is available about you to anyone. Your words will be automatically translated into the native language of the listener and you will be able to understand them in return, this also applies to kanji which is what you’re reading now. Consider the upcoming years your tutorial. Now go on, you’d better hurry or you’ll be late! (Map’s on the back)

Sincerely,
The Author

==

I twitched as the world shifted in size. Everything was suddenly a lot bigger. I frowned, thought for a moment, weighed my options and then took off with a big grin, following the map into my new life. Dream or not, I wanted to make the most of it.

==Ten Minutes Later==

I skidded into the classroom and spun upright to my feet with my hands raised in front of me, both index fingers extended in a quirky little gesture as I smiled, “I’m not late am I? Sorry, it took me a minute to find the room.”

A tall man with a large scar and a spiky ponytail who could only be Iruka looked at the clock, “No, you’re actually just in time. What’s your name?”

I smiled as the name that my little letter had given me rolled easily off my tongue, so easily one might’ve almost mistaken it for honesty. The joys of being a fantastic liar in a little kid’s body! Iruka checked his roster and nodded. “Alright, take a seat,” Iruka instructed. I nodded and quickly scanned the room, rapidly deciding to plonk my behind by the really pretty little blonde with the perfect blue eyes in the worn out t-shirt.

I smiled at her as warmly as I could, “Hi, I’m Koga. What’s your name?”

The little girl smiled a smile that seemed like extract of sunshine, “I’m Naruko! Do you want to be my friend?”

I blinked as the name registered and then I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into a one armed hug, “Best friends!” That was apparently the very right answer because I immediately got a hug and forever after that, Naruko stuck to me like glue whenever she could. As much fun as she was, I didn’t mind in the slightest.

==After Class==

We, or rather I, wound up pulling off that little incident that made Hinata look up to Naruto in canon. It quite surprised me, but even if I hadn’t immediately realized it was Hinata, I like to think I would’ve jumped in and helped out a little girl being picked on by three boys double her size. It was then that I realized I had maintained at least a significant amount of my former strength. Someone my size should not have been able to smack those three around like that. It was the first time I could remember having moved that fast in quite some time, and it felt awesome. The cracking my knuckles over the three fallen bullies and asking what they’d learned about bullying prompting them to all take off and run like hell itself was after them felt pretty damn epic too.

After they had turned the corner, I snorted in their general direction and then turned a smile on Hinata, “You alright Hyuga-chan?”

Hinata stared at me in shock and then nodded with a smile, “Yes, thank you!”

I smiled, “Don’t worry about it. It’s what I do.” I turned and strolled off waving over my shoulder as I saw Hinata’s body guard come rushing up, “See ya around Hyuga-chan!”

I walked Naruko home, chatting and smiling the whole way as she told me of all her likes, dislikes and grand dreams. Summed up simply, likes ramen and the Hokage, hates being ignored and wants to be Hokage. Before either of us knew it, we were at a large imposing building which honestly looked more like a prison than an orphanage, and just as soon as we saw it, Naruko’s smile disappeared.

It was an awful thing to see, that beautiful sunny smile just vanishing like that, and the look that replaced it was worse. If I hadn’t been able to guess it was bad, that look of…it wasn’t quite dread or terror, but certainly a strong “never want to go there again but I have to”. I looked at her, “Naruko, what is this place?”

“The orphanage,” Naruko said quietly with her eyes downcast, “I’m an orphan so I live here because nobody loves me.”

I refuse to admit to squeaking with outrage, but I might have squawked. To foster such a mindset in a child, especially one so bright and sunny and as far as I could tell utterly wonderful…If not for the fact that there were probably other kids in that horrid place, I’d have found a box of matches and torched it on the spot. No, I probably would’ve lit up all of Konoha if I could’ve gotten away with it. Naruko looked up at me in hurt surprise and I realized, Oh god she thinks I’m angry at her…

I caught her by the shoulders and looked her in the eye, “Naruko, as my best friend in this whole world, I cannot let you continue to live in a place that makes you so sad. Come with me, we shall gather your things and you can come live with me.”

Naruko looked like she had just been offered a stairway to heaven and oh god it hurt so much to see the effects my simple caring was having on her. Forget tugging my heartstrings, she was pulling them out like loose threads from a moth-eaten sweater, which given the state of my rotten black heart is probably a pretty apt metaphor…

Then she hesitated, “But…what about your parents? Adults don’t like me…”

I hugged her, “I don’t have any, and anyone who doesn’t like you is welcome to go get eaten by piranha as far as I’m concerned.”

That did it. On came the waterworks. She cried into my shoulder for what seemed like a long time before she pulled herself together enough for us to go get her things and leave that awful place. I resisted the urge to flip the matrons the bird on my way out, narrowly. They never said a word to me, but I had, and still have, nothing but hatred so deep I can’t even put it into words for them. Flipping them off with a glare of pure undiluted hate would be the beginning of the equivalent gesture. Burying a kunai between their eyes and storming off without a word would be the rest of it. It wasn’t until after we had grabbed Naruko’s meager possessions, we were able to gather them up in one trip, that she thought to ask me what a piranha was.

When we got back to my…well it had been a small travel trailer since I was always on the road for work, but now it was set into the side of a building so I guess it was an apartment now…for lack of a clearer category, I elected to call it a “dwelling place” at the time…Anyway when we got there, I got another surprise. It had changed since I left.

When I left, there had been two rooms, a larger room with a bed, a table, a sink, oven top, mini-fridge and microwave, plus lots of cabinets, and a small rectangular bathroom with a mirror/medicine cabinet and sink on the left, a toilet in the middle and a shower barely big enough for one on the left. It had also been a complete mess. A lonely bachelor with no social life tends to be a messy person and I epitomized that. My place had been a constant pigsty, dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, books and unopened snacks on one side of the bed in case I got hungry... I had never been called a disgusting pig for my manners or lack of decorum, but my mother had once called me one in a fit of rage after seeing my admittedly atrocious housekeeping.

Now I was stunned as I walked through what I was certain was the same door as before into a sizable room, almost double the size of what my larger room had been. What was weirder was that it was spotless. I looked around and poked my head back outside, looking around to make sure I was at the right beat up wooden door at the top of what looked like a rusty fire escape ladder in an unassuming brick alley. I pulled my head back in as Naruko was oohing and ahhing over how much space I now had and how nice everything was. You’d think it was a grand palace the way she was looking around at it. Granted, it was certainly quite nice, especially compared to that awful orphanage.

It was a small kitchen by the looks of it. The wall on the left was a bar with cabinets above and below and a sink in the middle, plus an old and kind of beat up looking dishwasher. There was a standalone fridge/freezer combo just across from the door, and an old microwave on the counter. A considerable chunk of the right wall was bookshelf which looked awfully familiar, and as I started reading titles, it looked like every book I’d ever had was there. I looked at the wooden table next to the door and ran a hand over it in numb shock, that was the table my grandfather had made for me when I got an apartment in college…and those were my chairs…

I suddenly froze and looked around, this is the kitchen from my apartment! Right down to the little cactuses in the window over the sink and my dirty blue floor mat! I looked around, starting to get seriously weirded out, what. The EXACT. FUCK? Then I noticed a note on the table and quickly grabbed it to read.

==

As you may have noticed, the house has changed. The house is my boon to you, so that you may never feel uncomfortable in your own home. The house exists in an extradimensional pocket, and the door is just propped up against the wall outside. You can seal it and take home with you wherever you go. The seal that allows this is in the fuinjutsu textbook in your bedroom. The house will change to suit whatever your needs are, but it will always pull from your memories to shape its new rooms. Existing rooms will not change significantly, but they will gain new places in the overall layout of the building. The map is once again on the back, and as you may not have noticed on the other map, both are constantly updating so that you can always find your way home and around inside. Locked doors do not yet have rooms behind them and cannot be opened. Some doors may be missing from where they were in the original room due to the floor plan being different. A compilation of the rooms the house has memory of and can therefore manifest is in the manual.

Yes the dishes are all done, as is the laundry and all the other housekeeping; part of the sealing matrix accounts for housekeeping. It was designed by an extremely brilliant but lazy man who didn’t have time for housekeeping (you will still have to buy groceries though). The wardrobes will be updated and altered based on biometrics taken by the house and personal preferences.
The books and pictures are from a mixture of the memories and knowledge of all past and present residents of the house, with complete versions of even partially remembered texts copied through the sealing matrix’s time-space functions.

Naruko has now been acknowledged as a resident and thus the house will respond to her needs and memories as well.

The house can understand the difference between visitor and resident and will only respond to residents. The house can only be accessed by residents. Anyone else who tries to open the door will find it to be a framed door to nothing except whatever is behind it, example a wall or the other side of the clearing it’s sitting in. All of the instructions for the house can be found in the manual, and the house will periodically drop little hints like this which can be compiled or disposed of as they are completely unnoticeable to anyone but a resident of the house.

==
By the time I was finished, Naruko was reading over my shoulder, which I let slide because I had already gotten to the part about her being a resident just as much as I was.

When Naruko finished she asked, “So…what’s it say?” I blinked and looked at her and then I remembered, Right, six year old orphan. Probably can’t read very well if at all.

I smiled, “Well ‘Ruko-chan, it says that the house has acknowledged that you live here now. That’s why it changed while I was gone. It was making room for you.”

Naruko blinked and then her eyes bugged out, “Wait, the house is alive?!”

I laughed, “No, it’s just a really smart house. The guy who made it was a super genius with fuinjutsu, and he made a house that can tell who’s here, as well as who lives here and who’s just visiting, change to suit their needs and hide itself from anyone else. There’s a map on the back, come on, let’s go check out your room!”

“I have my own room?!” Naruko asked with a delighted smile.

I nodded with a smile of my own, “Yep, come on, it’s right down this hallway.” I walked to what had in my apartment been the door to my bedroom and fought back the disorientation as it opened into the short cinderblock hallway from the second dorm I’d lived in in college. I led Naruko to the second door on the right, “Okay, here’s your room…”

I opened the door and once again tried to blink back the disorientation as the door opened into a bedroom I didn’t even begin to recognize from a completely different architectural style. I forced a smile and let Naruko run past me to jump on the bed with a squeal of delight that quickly turned my forced smile to a real one.

I looked around and as Naruko rolled around on the bed giggling with glee I looked at the picture on the dresser and my breath caught, “Ruko-chan, look at this.” I handed her the little framed picture as she sat up.

All the breath went out of her in an instant and her eyes went wide, “This…Is this…”

I picked up the piece of paper that had been under the picture and read aloud, “A picture of Naruko and her parents, Minato and Kushina.”

Naruko’s breath came out in little hitching sobs as tears welled in her eyes, “My…my daddy was… the Fourth Hokage?”

I smiled gently, “Judging by the picture, I’d say you definitely have his hair and eyes, and how could someone as wonderful as you be anyone less than the daughter of a Hokage?” Naruko’s lip trembled for a moment and then she burst into tears. I bounced up onto the bed and wrapped her in a hug, “Hey…hey…what’s wrong? I thought the Fourth was your hero.”

“He is!” Naruko wailed, “But why does my dad have to be dead?! If he were alive people wouldn’t hate me!”

I tightened my grip on her and took a firmer tone that cut through the sound of her sobs, “Naruko, stop. And. Think. Nobody hates you. They’re trying to protect you.”

Naruko actually stopped and looked up at me with big watery eyes, “W-what? But, but they all…”

I smiled softly at her, “Think about it. The Fourth wasn’t without enemies, and if people found out he had a daughter and he wasn’t around to protect her, they’d come after you. If people let on that you were the Fourth’s child, then they might be placing you in terrible danger. What if some other shinobi village found out the legendary Yellow Flash had a daughter? They’d want to kidnap her and force her to be a ninja for them wouldn’t they? By pretending to not care about you Naruko, they’re shielding you from the eyes of outsiders. If they don’t seem to care, why would anyone else? They’ll think, ‘surely Konoha would care about the child of their great hero and praise that child to the high heavens right? So this little girl who nobody gives a second glance surely couldn’t be that child! We can move on and leave her alone without having to worry about her growing up to be as strong as the Yellow Flash!’ and then...”

I smiled gently, “Years from now when you are all grown up and the greatest Hokage Konoha has ever had, everyone can admit who you are, because you’ll be strong enough that nobody can threaten you. Right now, everyone has to lie and pretend not to care, that you’re just another orphan from the night of the Kyuubi attack, but one day Naruko, you’ll be able to shed your anonymity and everyone will be able to love you openly. I know it’s hard, but until you’re stronger you have to hide who you are alright?”

Naruko looked up at me with so much hope and trust in her eyes that it almost hurt me, because as far as I knew every word out of my mouth just then had been a colossal lie. All except for the bit about her needing to hide who she was and get stronger. It wasn’t wrong though, she needed to hear it, right? I tried to tell myself that, but it still felt wrong somehow, using her trust to manipulate her like that, even if it did strengthen her resolve and would help her grow into a more formidable and loyal shinobi.

“Also,” I added, “A lot of people probably don’t know who you are. Lord Third has probably gone to great measures to keep your identity secret for your protection. I’m sure there are probably laws in place forbidding anyone who knows about it from talking about it or acting on it in obvious ways. I’m sure there are people who know though, and those people are always keeping an eye out for you from the shadows ‘Ruko-chan, I’m certain of it, and while they watch over you from the shadows, I’ll be right there by your side, watching your back, and may Kami have no mercy at all on the souls of whoever tries to get at you while I’m around,” I declared with a rueful grin and then, “Does that sound alright ‘Ruko-chan?” I asked with a smile.

Naruko looked up at me like I was her own personal guardian angel or fairy godfather or something to that effect, and as she wrapped me in a hug and cried happy tears into my chest, I decided that damn it all I was going to be. I might have been a cold rotten calculating ball of explosive malignance, but I was a cold rotten calculating ball of explosive malignance with a sense of honor dammit! This little girl was putting her trust in me and if it killed me I’d damn well be someone worthy of it.

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