chuckling_ghost

Chapter 3 - The Hokage

==The Next Day==

The Academy had a fairly good schedule I thought, Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays were all mental and theoretical stuff, and Tuesdays Thursdays and Saturdays were all physical. The next day was Wednesday, and the first thing on the agenda was a little game. It was called “What’s the password?” To win, all you had to do was get your opponent to cough up the password.

I think throwing Takaoka across the room, pouncing on top of him and driving my fist through the wall next to his head before demanding the password or else was a perfectly valid strategy.

When Iruka demanded to know what I was doing and I replied “an interrogation”, Iruka turned almost as interesting a shade of red as Takaoka was pale. Before Iruka could find a response, I turned to Takaoka with a grade A death glare, “Well? The password?” Takaoka stammered it out and I immediately bounced up, helped him to his feet and smiled, “Thank you Takaoka. I win.”

“THAT IS NOT HOW YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO PLAY THE GAME!” Iruka shouted.

I gave him a deadpan stare, “Interrogations are a game? I’m sure the ANBU would find that very interesting.” I was promptly informed I had detention that afternoon, and then it was doubled because I called Iruka a spoilsport.

After that game was over, we moved onto military strategy, which consisted of a game very similar to chess called Shogi. I was paired off with Naruko because everybody else was worried I’d have a tactic for Shogi like my strategy for “password”. I did not. I had a very pleasant time learning how to play Shogi with ‘Ruko-chan. We played five times over the hour, and we were evenly matched, two for me, two for her and one match interrupted by Iruka moving on to the next lesson.

The next lesson was signaling and I had to resist the urge to teach the class some very interesting hand signals aimed at Iruka. He was really starting to get on my nerves being such a humorless stiff. Pointing at your eyes and then what you want your partner to look at was a perfectly valid way to tell them where to look, and pointing at your head while holding your fingers a centimeter apart is a perfectly valid way to call somebody a pea brain. I had detention for a week after that one.

Next was “Spiritual Refinement”, or in simple layman’s terms trying to activate our chakra so we could use it for jutsu. I remembered my chakra manifesting the night before when I was angry, so as I folded myself into a cross legged meditative position on my little mat, I closed my eyes and started thinking of everything that had ever made me furious. It didn’t take long for me to work myself into a red eyed rage, and as my eyes snapped open at the first sound, I saw the entire class except for ‘Ruko-chan and Sasuke huddled behind Iruka staring in terror. ‘Ruko-chan and Sasuke were looking at me in awe rather than fear.

I shook my head and banished my rage back into the dark recesses of my mind. The massive violent purple miasma of chakra around me dissipated immediately and I heard several held breaths being let out. I leaned forward and propped my chin on my fist, “So Iruka-sensei, what’s next?”

“THAT’S NOT HOW YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO IT!” Iruka shouted as his head grew to the about double the size of a beach ball, “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO FIND HARMONY WITH YOUR CHAKRA, NOT TAP INTO IT WITH ANGER! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SO ANGRY ABOUT ANYWAY?!”

I thought for a moment and then I answered calmly, “Number one, I was in perfect harmony with my chakra, I was ready to wreck something and my chakra was ready to help me. Perfect harmony of power and intent. Number two, what was I angry at? I was angry at quite a great number of things which have long since become irrelevant to me but which I can still easily use as kindling to help fuel the fire of my wrath. Now it’s your turn Sensei, what are you so angry about? I have accessed my chakra, was that not the point of this exercise?”

Iruka was making a visible effort to control himself as he snapped a finger towards the door, “Outside. Now.” I shrugged and rose to my feet, calmly letting myself out the door and waited. A few moments later, Iruka stepped out, “Follow me.”

I followed him down several hallways and up a few flights of steps to a door which he knocked on. A voice called through it, “Who is it?”

“Iruka sir,” Iruka replied, “I’m having a little trouble with a student and I need your guidance in dealing with the matter.”

There was a pause and then, “Come in.”

Iruka opened the door and ushered me through into the Hokage’s office. I quickly went and peered over the top of the desk with a smile, “Naruko says hi.”

Hiruzen Sarutobi looked at me, “Ah I see, you’re Naruko’s friend. I heard something about you encouraging her to move out of the orphanage?”

My expression darkened, “Forget encouraged Lord Hokage, that place is a horrible…” I struggled for a minute to find a word, “It’s just horrible. I couldn’t let ‘Ruko-chan stay in a place like that. If I could get all the kids out, I’d torch it rather than let a place that would make the people it was supposed to be taking care of so sad remain standing.”

Hiruzen’s brow furrowed, “Explain.”

“Have you been in there?!” I demanded, “The whole place oozes gloom and sadness! ‘Ruko-chan’s an unquenchable little ball of sunshine, and she looked like she wanted to die rather than go back in there! I didn’t see a single smile in there, and the accommodations are utterly dismal. It’s more fit to be a prison than a place for children!”

Hiruzen frowned, “I see. I shall have to make an inspection of the orphanage. You seem very protective of Naruko, may I ask why?”

“She’s my best friend,” I replied bluntly, “But even if she wasn’t, she’s Leaf. That means I protect her right?”

Hiruzen blinked and then nodded with a small smile on his face, “Yes, yes it does. Iruka, exactly what problems are you having with, I’m sorry child what was your name? I didn’t catch it.”

“Koga sir, Koga Kurohyou,” I answered, “Iruka-sensei doesn’t like my jokes and interrogation strategy and thinks it’s bad that I’m angry about the orphanage making ‘Ruko-chan sad.”

Iruka choked behind me, “That’s what made you so angry?”

I looked over my shoulder and let the rage come flowing back. As my chakra erupted around me in what I later learned was its default state I declared, “If you had seen how sad she was, you would be angry too.”

Iruka paled slightly and then nodded, “Yes I’m sure I would. Lord Hokage, if it’s not too much to request, I’d like to be on the team that investigates the orphanage. Nobody messes with my students.”

I let my rage and chakra aura peter out and then Iruka cleared his throat, “That being said, you still have detention for throwing Takaoka across the room and scaring the living daylights out of him. Oh, and calling me a pea brain.”

I gave him an irritable look, “You wanted me to interrogate him didn’t you? Intimidation is a standard interrogation tactic isn’t it? Sorry if my approach is a little unrefined and blunt, I haven’t been studying to be an interrogator for long. As for calling you a pea brain, you wanted us to communicate nonverbally, and what’s harder to communicate than exact phrasing? Everyone else got it too ya know, and it made them all laugh. Besides, I owed you a verbal jab for disapproving of my highly successful tactics in interrogation.” I looked away and stuffed my hands in my pockets, “I do a good job and get chewed out for it. Yeesh, can’t win for losing.”

Hiruzen frowned as Iruka’s eye twitched, “It seems to me Iruka, that while Koga’s methods are unorthodox, if what he’s saying is true then he is getting the desired results. Perhaps a little less yelling and a little more guiding would work better?”

“Definitely,” I declared, “Yelling only makes me angry.”

Hiruzen nodded, “See there? He does not understand why you disapprove of his methods, and if you shout, he will ignore your advice and then he will not learn. I know you are still a very new teacher Iruka, but you must learn to take your students’ mistakes in stride and keep a level head as you guide them down better paths. Becoming angry will solve nothing and serve only to distance you from your students. If they do not do something right, but think they did, then ask why they did it that way. As with Koga’s interrogation, they may well have had a good reason. Koga, do you know any other methods of interrogation?”

I thought about it, “I’ve heard bribery can work, as can seduction which is just another form of bribery, but I don’t know Takaoka well enough to know what to bribe him with, he’s a guy so I can’t seduce him, and there’s no guarantee that he would give me the right information even if I could bribe or seduce him. Those are the only two nonviolent methods I know of, and as far as violence goes, I think I could’ve done a lot worse than throw him across the room and threaten to punch him.”

Hiruzen nodded, “You see Iruka? Koga was simply utilizing the best option available to him. If you wish for him to not resort to violence when interrogating, teach him a better method. Now what is this about you calling Iruka a pea brain?”

I quickly repeated the gestures which indicated that Iruka was a pea brain and then spread my hands as if to say, “Tada”. Hiruzen blinked and then smiled, “Well Iruka, it seems he has the grasp of nonverbal communication, why don’t you try to teach him new methods of signaling so that he can code his signals rather than having them be so obvious, and explain to him why it is good for his signals to be coded?”

Iruka nodded, “Of course Lord Hokage.”

I grinned and then Hiruzen glanced at me, “You’re still going to have detention you know.”

I made a face, “Dang it!”

Hiruzen snorted a small chuckle, “Let me explain. Your detention is not because you acted out, although that is certainly a component of the reason. You are being held after school so that you can have supervised help with your chakra. It is not supposed to be something you can only access through a strong emotion. To be an effective shinobi you must be able to maintain a level head, and if you must work yourself into a fury to access even your most basic techniques, then you will not be able to remain level headed. You are not the first to access your chakra through your emotions, and you won’t be the last, so we want to help you learn from the mistakes of others as it is very difficult to unlearn something like that.”

I nodded, it made sense, then I paused, “Just one request Lord Hokage?”

Hiruzen leaned forward, “I’m listening.”

“Can ‘Ruko-chan stay late with me for tutoring? She’s living with me now and she might not find her way home without me. I don’t want her to get lost, and I don’t know if she knows how to read, I don’t think she can, so if she could stay late maybe Iruka-sensei could help her with that?”

Hiruzen nodded, “I believe that could be arranged. Iruka?”

Iruka nodded, “Yessir, of course. I’d be happy to.”

I glared at him, “You don’t want to teach ‘Ruko-chan.”

Iruka stiffened, “What makes you say that?” he asked in a tone that clearly meant: How did you know that?

I frowned, “I’m good at reading people, and apparently you stink at puzzles. Can I tell him Lord Hokage?” Hiruzen froze and Iruka looked very irritated.

“How do you know about that?” Hiruzen asked me quietly.

“Who else would he trust with it?” I asked, “Why else would she have the exact same hair and eyes as him? People don’t notice urchins, don’t think we matter because they pretend not to see us, but we see and hear a lot that they don’t want anyone to because we’re nobody to them. I’m not dumb Lord Hokage, it’s obvious to me, and it should be to anyone else who sees her and knows who she is.”

Iruka frowned angrily, “What are you talking about?!”

I looked at Hiruzen and gestured towards the wall with the portraits of the four Hokage on it, “On second thought, can ‘Ruko-chan have a smarter teacher? This one’s too blind to look at the wall.”

Iruka followed my finger, stared for a few minutes and then it visibly hit him like a freight train. All the color went out of him immediately, “Oh Kami…”

Hiruzen sighed, “Iruka, that’s an S-Class secret punishable by death if you reveal it to anyone. I take it Naruko already knows?”

I nodded, “It took her a second and a lot of explaining, but she’s willing to keep it secret, as am I. I only let Iruka-sensei know because he’s going to be our teacher for the next few years. I won’t have someone with such influence over her proceed with only half the story.”

Hiruzen regarded me thoughtfully, “You care about Naruko quite a lot don’t you Koga?”

I nodded and looked down as my fists clenched, “She trusts me. More than that I’m concerned she may love me, and that’s more than I deserve from anybody. So damn it I’m going to be worthy of her trust, even if it kills me. Also,” I added quietly, “I’ve never been so hurt to see someone else sad as I am when I see her that way. I don’t know what this is, but it’s enough that I never want her to be sad again.”

Hiruzen nodded with a slight smile forming, “I see. Very well, I shall allow her to continue living with you, but I would like to come by after you finish your after school study session to make sure your accommodations are suitable for two small children.”

I stiffened slightly and then relaxed and nodded, “Yessir, I’ll come by to get you after we’re done.”

Hiruzen nodded, “Very good. I will see you and Naruko this afternoon. Now, you should get back to class.”

I smiled brightly, “Aye boss!” and zipped out the door and back to class. Iruka wasn’t far behind me although he wasn’t moving quite as quick. I looked over my shoulder and saw he was still looking kind of dazed from realizing who Naruko’s parents were. I didn’t let it slow me and zoomed on back to class. I had to admit, the old guy had a point, it wouldn’t do at all for me to be totally reliant on my rage. I got destructive when I was ragey.

I went back to my little meditating mat next to Naruko’s and smiled as I sat down, “Don’t worry, everything’s fine. I’ll fill you in at lunch.” Naruko nodded with a smile and went back to meditating. I folded myself into a meditative position and steadied and deepened my breathing. I had no idea what my elemental affinity was, so I decided to just try focusing on my internal power. Easier said than done.

I reviewed in my head what chakra was supposed to be, a mix of mental and spiritual energies. I mulled that over for a minute and then I took a deep breath, another one, and one more after that. On that third breath I envisioned the air coming out much stronger, my will taking shape in the form of the wind I was exhaling. I felt and heard things stir around me and I smiled, got it. Now, POWER.

I inhaled deeper this time, and when I exhaled I envisioned a massive gust of wind that would ruffle the hair of everyone in the room and send any loose papers flying. Everyone felt the air move and then I did it again. I smiled, perfect. Then I closed my eyes, I wonder what happens when I add that emotional power to it…I inhaled as big and deep as I could and as I held it I ripped the lid off my rage and let the breath out as a huge roar, envisioning it as a terrible tempest or a shockwave. I got the tempest.

I looked around as things went flying and my classmates dove for cover. I reveled in my power with a grin for a moment or two and then I calmed myself and willed the wind to die down. It didn’t work with just will, so I swiped my hand counter to the wind as I huffed a firm breath out and the wind screeched to a halt with a sound like a distant thunderclap. As debris fell from the air, Iruka slammed the door open, “WHAT WAS THAT?!”

I rocked around in a circle cackling, “I’m windy!” Then I paused, “I wonder what else I can do…”

Iruka seemed to teleport over to rest a hand firmly on my head, “How about you don’t experiment in the classroom and destroy the place?”

I pouted at him, “Spoilsport.”

That afternoon after some careful phrasing at lunch, Naruko delightedly joined Iruka for extra lessons in the training yard and I was pleased to see Iruka going to great lengths to make sure she was understanding what he was teaching her. I meanwhile sat in a fuinjutsu circle and practiced with my chakra. Hiruzen had come by to see what all the noise was earlier and was now personally overseeing my chakra control exercises in case my chakra whipped up another whirlwind. The damn leaf on my forehead just would. Not. STICK. It kept getting blown off by little wind blasts and I kept having to go get it.

Hiruzen had tested my chakra affinity with chakra paper that afternoon just to confirm that I did have Wind Release and that my chakra wasn’t just that ridiculously powerful. It turned out to be both. When the paper should have split down the middle, instead it ripped itself to shreds. Hiruzen and I blinked at it and I looked up at him, “Eh, was it supposed to do that?”

Hiruzen stared and then, “I don’t know that I’ve ever seen it myself, but I’ve heard of it. It’s an especially potent form of Wind Release known as Typhoon Release. It’s extremely rare, extremely powerful and like a typhoon, extremely difficult to control. I or someone skilled in Wind Style will oversee your chakra control exercises until you have a decent degree of control over it. You are not to practice with it during storms or in unprotected areas where it can cause damage to the village if it gets out of control, understood?”

I nodded, it made sense, “Aye Lord Hokage.”

As I continued to try and fail to make the damn leaf stick and turn, Hiruzen eventually stopped me, “It seems we may have to work backwards on your chakra control, narrowing it from the biggest control exercises to the smallest. Go ahead and make the biggest wind you can. The seal will contain it. I wish to see the mechanics of your chakra at work. I have heard that Typhoon Release is more powerful, but I do not know why. So please indulge me that we may better learn the workings of your abilities.”

I nodded and grinned as I glared at the pesky little leaf, I’m gonna blow you sky freakin high. I inhaled and then let it out with all my frustration behind it. I vaguely remembered the one character in canon to have used Typhoon Release making the Bird hand sign, so I made the best approximation of it I could. The wind reacted to my surprise. It reacted very VERY strongly. It went from a contained spiraling gust to a small twister that I couldn’t see out through. I was so surprised by the sudden skyrocket in power that I released the jutsu. The air continued to whirl for a few minutes and then as the dust settled I was left staring at Hiruzen, Iruka and Naruko who were all staring at me.

Hiruzen’s mouth had dropped so much that he almost lost his pipe. I was acutely aware that what I had just pulled was easily a B-Rank technique if my memories of Temari’s jutsu were any indication, and I wasn’t even breathing hard. Hiruzen finally recovered his voice, “Koga-kun, how much energy would you say you have right now?”

I shrugged, “Honestly Lord Hokage, I feel like I could go a round or two in the ring with Iruka-sensei.”

Hiruzen’s mouth tightened around his pipe and he worked it around for a minute as the gears in his brain were almost visible in their churning, then, “Alright, I want you to do that again, and maintain it for as long as you can okay?”

I nodded, “Okaaa-ay…” I folded my hands back into my approximate bird sign and inhaled deep. I envisioned an even stronger twister than before as I exhaled, and I got one. The first one had been the color of the dirt it was ripping up from the Academy yard. This one got darker. I don’t know how high up that seal went, but my twister was pulling in clouds and blotting out the sun from what I could see in the eye of it.

As per the old man’s instructions, I held my pose and kept my breathing steady, trying to focus on maintaining the twister, occasionally giving it little extra breaths to help it stay up to speed.

I don’t know how long I stood there before I started to get stiff, but when I did I decided, Ok, that’s enough. I paused, dropped my hand sign and stretched, noticing that the twister was only weakening just a little bit. With a light puff, it went right back to the power it had been having. I rolled my shoulders and stretched more thoroughly, calmly examining the twister as I willed my breathing to keep powering it. When I finished stretching I just stood there and looked at the inner wall of my personal twister. Then I got tired of standing and crouched. After that my feet started to go to sleep and I sat down.

After what felt like a long time I decided I’d had enough and clapped my hands together with a huge, hard, fast exhalation, ENOUGH!!! The twister screeched to a halt and a massive cloud of dust settled.

I looked around and saw that Hiruzen had had time to go get himself a chair and was reading to Naruko. Iruka had already left and the sun was going down. Hiruzen and ‘Ruko-chan looked up at me. I gave them a slightly grumpy look, “I ain’t tired, I’m just bored outta my skull and need a bath. How long have I been in here?!”

Hiruzen checked a pocket watch, “Three hours and sixteen minutes. It’s almost seven thirty. You say you’re not even tired?”

“Not from the jutsu,” I replied, “The standing for so long thing was uncomfortable. I had to sit down and do some stretches to keep from getting all stiff, but if I’m supposed to be feeling some sort of after effects from the jutsu, either I’m not or they’re so miniscule that I don’t recognize them.”

Hiruzen nodded, “I believe I have a theory then. Your Typhoon Release is not necessarily more powerful than ordinary Wind Release, it is simply far, far more chakra efficient.”

“So I can use a fraction of the chakra most people would have to and get the same or greater results?” I clarified, “Makes sense and is awesome.”

Hiruzen nodded, “Yes but you will have to be very careful and learn the utmost control. With such a powerful multiplier on the effects of your chakra, even the weakest techniques might have titanic effects.”

I smiled, “That sounds pretty epic.”

Hiruzen sighed, “Yes, it will certainly make you a powerful shinobi, although I don’t know that it will not bring its own burdens.”

I twitched an eyebrow at him, “Yeah yeah, it’s super destructive at the drop of a hat. I would’ve been that anyway. I’ll learn to control it and if I can’t fully control it I can at least learn to aim.”

Hiruzen mused on that for a moment and then glanced over at the setting sun, and the numerous curious heads peeking over the school yard wall with all the subtlety of a rampaging elephant, “Well, I think that is quite enough practicing for one day. Come, let’s get you two home. We’ll go by Body Flicker so as not to have a crowd of followers.” He offered a hand and a moment later the three of us were standing halfway across Konoha.

I looked up at him, “How does that jutsu work? I want to be able to do that.”

“It is an advanced form of Substitution relying on using air or leaves or something similar to substitute instead of a solid mass like a log. It’s more chakra intensive than running or ordinary substitution, but I have a feeling that won’t be an issue for either of you. Now then, which way is your home?”

I pulled out the map and smiled as I saw it had a little inked line with an arrow at the tip leading us from our current position home. I pointed and took off with ‘Ruko-chan and Hiruzen following along behind me, “This way.”

WARNING! THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS LANGUAGE AND THEMES UNSUITABLE FOR MINORS! So if you're under the age of 18 and have never heard the word 'fuck' before...well ya have now. XD

Chapter 2 – The Academy

==A Few Hours Later==

I sat in bed with ‘Ruko-chan’s head on my shoulder as I thoroughly analyzed the contents of the book labeled, “The Manual”. Naruko had cried for almost an hour and then held on for another one before I talked her into taking a bath. I had fished her out some adorable pajamas with little froggies on them from the dresser and shooed her off into the bathroom. Before I got properly turned to go hunt for the Manual the note had mentioned, Naruko poked her head back out and asked for help with the bathtub.

I had shown her how the tub worked and explained the soap and shampoo and bubbles and handed her the rubber ducky. When I turned around after fishing a towel out of the cabinet for her, I stopped and blinked because she had already ditched her shirt and was on her way out of her skirt. I smiled broadly as a disguise for how tightly I had my eyes scrunched shut, gave her the towel, told her to enjoy the bath and yell if she needed anything, and I’d see her when she got done. I quickly exited and closed the door behind me before covering my nose and trying to quell the blush covering my face.

Son of a BITCH, I thought to myself, Has nobody taught that girl not to disrobe in front of guys?! Has anybody taught her ANYTHING?! Mercy sakes alive…I could get her to do anything…even if she knew better, as much as she seems to trust me, I bet I could trick her into doing whatever I wanted…Nothing to do with her now, she’s way too young, but I could start setting up now for ten, twelve years from now when she’s… An image of what she’d look like at age 16 crawling across the bed to me buck naked except for some very sexy lingerie with a big smile flashed across my mind and blood spurted from my nose almost hard enough to snap my head back. And THIS is going to be a problem isn’t it? I thought irritably as my sinuses throbbed with little red hot flashes of pain and blood continued to pour across my hand.

Then it occurred to me that those damn bitches at that orphanage might have intentionally neglected to teach her anything so that she’d make mistakes and leave herself open like this, and I feel quite certain my face turned as violent a red as the blood on my hands. I scowled as the rage roiled through me, God, if she had run into a pedophile before me…

A horrible image of that sweet little angel hurt and broken flashed through my mind and I was narrowly aware of my chakra manifesting as a violent purple aura around me in response to my fury at the mere thought. Note to self, kill every pedophile I can find and investigate that damn orphanage. Dish out vengeance if appropriate. Fuck justice, nothing less than horrid bloody vengeance is acceptable if they were sabotaging ‘Ruko-chan like that.

I shook my head slightly, Gotta find that manual and get my mind off this! If I look half as scary as I feel like being then poor ‘Ruko-chan would probably be frightened if she saw me... Manual, manual, MAP. I snatched the map off the bed and headed for the library.

The library was a massive room and I realized then that it wasn’t one of the ones I’d seen, or if it was then it wasn’t a real one, because I was pretty sure I had never been in a room with that many books that wasn’t a full building unto itself, and rooms that size without stages, basketball courts or cafeterias in them were very rare as well. The ceiling was soaring and looked like something I’d expect out of European architecture, renaissance era maybe, definitely not Japanese though. There was a sizable table in the middle though, and on the table was a book about as thick as an average notebook, which looked to be hand bound in some kind of leather and had the words “House Manual” written on the front.

I nodded and took it back to Naruko’s bedroom to wait for her to finish in the bath. I had promised to listen for her and I intended to. If she had never been in a tub before she might not be careful when getting up to get out and fall. If she did I wanted to be able to get in there and help her quickly rather than her having to lie there hurt. Before I got comfortable I cracked the door to check and make sure she hadn’t gotten hurt in the brief time I was gone, “You okay in there ‘Ruko-chan?”

“Yeah! This is awesome!” she called back happily.

I smiled, “Alright. Have fun, but don’t stay in there all night, we do have class tomorrow and you’ll need your sleep.”

I hauled myself up onto the bed and got comfortable before opening the manual to read while I waited for ‘Ruko-chan. Just as I was finishing the section on the mechanisms of the door and the house’s unfindability, ‘Ruko-chan came out in her adorable little froggy jammies and crawled up onto the bed next to me. I smiled at her, “Did you enjoy your bath?”

Naruko nodded with a big smile, “Uh-huh! Ducky-kun and I had lots of fun!”

I smiled, “Alright, here, I found you a teddy bear.” I handed her a small stuffed bear, similar to the one I’d had on my first go round as a child. Naruko squealed a little with delight and hugged the bear tight.

I went to get up and she caught my hand, “Where are you going?” She asked with a worried look in her eyes.

I blinked, “Well I was gonna go to my room.”

“But…” Naruko started before stopping herself.

I sighed slightly, the look in her eyes said it all, and then I smiled, “Don’t want to sleep all by yourself huh? Alright, I’ll sleep in here with you. I’m going to stay up for a little while checking out the instructions for the house though, so you might have to sleep with the light on for a little while, kay?”

Naruko’s face lit up so much that I almost didn’t need the light. Now here I was, half under the covers with Naruko draped over my left side, trying to read the manual and keep my mind off the day when she’d be old enough for us to step up from sleeping together to sleeping together. Thankfully, the manual and the house it described were actually terribly interesting. The manual was basically an in depth how-to book for secure extradimensional dwellings and storage, and judging by the quality of the House, I’d have to guess that it was written by a world class expert.

If I was understanding it right, then fuinjutsu was actually going to be remarkably easy, and borderline absurd in how ridiculously formidable a swiss army superpower it was going to be. It was looking like all I had to do to make a seal was write the kanji for what I was wanting the seal to do and channel chakra into the ink or whatever other writing implement I was using to imbue it with the purpose and power to do what I was telling it to, using lines to direct it. More than just basic commands would be difficult to prepare in advance, but even basic stuff could be insanely useful. How hard was it to write “reflect” or “absorb”? According to what I was reading the chakra infusing the kanji would ensure the intent was followed, and the seals would maintain themselves as long as the chakra was able to recirculate in a balanced fashion.

As I read, I made constant notes of ideas in my head, and it seemed every new page brought a new one. Oh the things with which I must experiment…wonder if I can make a horniness seal…would have to be a genjutsu based seal…could have actually practical applications beyond the obvious… interrogation, it could be useful for interrogation…could do like that guy in that one story and use pleasure instead of pain… images flashed through my head of all the stories I’d read where pleasure actually got information and just generally worked better for persuasion in every way than pain and decided it was definitely worth looking into, and the obvious uses would be fun as well.

It was almost midnight by the time I felt drowsiness settle over me and closed the book, setting it gently on the nightstand and sliding down under the covers to curl up with Ruko-chan.

==The Next Morning==

Iruka had us out in the school yard, “Alright class, we’re going to start with some warm up exercises. Just follow me.” He proceeded to go through a variety of warm up exercises and stretches, then he had us do some standard exercise, push ups, sit ups, jumping jacks, so on and so forth. Those of you who’ve done some sort of workout in your life are familiar with the standard stuff and those who aren’t probably don’t care. I was a black belt at the time, granted a very rusty black belt who had just been bounced back to an approximation of his six year old body, but a black belt nonetheless so it was all quite familiar to me. As we went through the exercises, I was beyond delighted to find that my strength, speed and stamina had remained constant despite my change in size and weight, meaning it was all cake for me because I had twice as much power as I needed.

As we went through our standard exercises, Iruka prowled through the ranks, examining our levels of fitness. When he had finished judging our strength, “Alright, everybody run five laps around the track and then we’ll begin our taijutsu practice!” I was gone like a rocket. I had been fast even in my old body, with half the weight to carry and all the power? I was like lightning. I passed the other kids three times before I finished my laps, and I was the first one done. I wasn’t even winded as I stood in the taijutsu practice ring waiting with a grin, Is this what it felt like to be a kid?! I feel amazing!

Iruka shot me a glance as I peeled out off the track and then went back to watching the others. I was pleased to see Naruko was at the front of the pack alongside a few of the boys. The other girls except for two who I guessed (correctly) to be Ino and Hinata were lagging sadly behind, and it wasn’t hard at all to tell who the clan kids and civilians were.

When the others had finished their laps and come over to the taijutsu ring, Iruka came over, “Alright class, now that we’ve finished the warm up exercises, we’re going to see where you stand in your taijutsu abilities. I’m going to be fighting you all one on one.” That earned some mild cowering and balking from a lot of the class and piqued my interest. Iruka smiled as he walked into the ring, “Don’t worry, unless you’re really something else, I’ll be fighting on my knees. If you manage to force me to stand up, I might just have to bump you up to a more advanced class.”

He looked at me, “Koga, since you finished first and you’ve had a moment to catch your breath, you’re up first. I’m going to set this timer for two minutes okay? That should be enough for me to get an idea of your skill level.” He got down on his knees and put his guard up, “Now, I want you to come at me with everything you’ve got.”

“Elbows and knees allowed?” I asked calmly.

Iruka nodded, “Everything.”

I nodded, “Alright.” I settled into my guard and then launched forward like a shot from a bowstring, hammering out a sidekick towards Iruka’s face, which was about level with mine (and oh how much delightfully more flexible I had become!). Iruka blocked it easily and then repelled me with a gentle but firm palm thrust to my torso as I came around with a reverse punch. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to widen the gap between us enough that my punch missed. Then he blocked my follow up front kick with his elbow, my left jab with his hand as well as the follow up right hook with his other hand. That left him open for the front kick to the face though. It actually snapped his head back and disrupted his guard enough that I was able to hammer three quick punches into his face, an elbow strike right into his temple and a knife hand strike into his nose on my way out of his range.

Iruka regarded me warily as I watched him from where I had set my guard up, “Well, you’re better than I anticipated.” He raised a finger to his nose and snorted the blood out. Then he rose to his feet and settled into a stance, “Let’s see how much better.”

The whole class “ooh”-ed and I grinned, This just got harder. I launched straight forward and then just as I was entering Iruka’s range, I jumped. One of the surest and most satisfying techniques I had ever used on taller opponents was my flying piledriver. Tall people were just so unaccustomed to being attacked from above that they often never even considered the possibility of being whacked over the head, especially by an opponent shorter than them.

Apparently Iruka wasn’t that tall, missed that memo or was just really good, because he actually deflected my piledriver and threw a counter punch that launched me out of the ring. It wasn’t a hard punch, just the altitude that made me fly that far. I landed on my feet and grinned, “Actually fighting back now Sensei? Fun.” I walked back into the ring and set up with him again. Iruka set up in return and I gauged my options, flying piledriver’s out…sweep? Doubtful, he looks light on his FUCK!

Iruka launched forward and a punch rocketed out towards my head. He missed by a hairs breadth as I moved at the last second, and then twisted to throw another punch at me followed by a roundhouse and then a spinning hook kick which flowed into another round house, and then a sweep, all in less time than it takes to read it. I sprang back out of his range every time, and then as his leg came up in a front kick after the sweep, I ducked under instead of back and slammed my crossed arms into the bottom of his leg. He went flying off balance and before I could pat myself on the back I had a brief instance of OH SHIT! as he landed in a handstand and brought his legs swinging around in an upside down roundhouse that I managed to block, which still sent me flying with its momentum.

I rolled a landing and back to my feet, noticing that he’d knocked me out of the ring again as the timer buzzed. Iruka straightened up out of his stance with a smile, “Well Koga, I must say I’m very impressed! You’re very skilled for one so young, and much stronger than I expected. I didn’t expect to be forced to my feet right off the bat like that. Congratulations, I’ll be talking to one of the more advanced instructors after lunch about getting you bumped up to a more appropriate level for taijutsu class. Now if you’ll have a seat on this side of the ring, I’ll take the next volunteer.” He gestured to the side of the ring across from the rest of the class and I went and sat down.

Hinata, Kiba and Sasuke were the only other ones who managed to even touch Iruka. Nobody else could get through his guard. Kiba pulled it off only once with sheer ferocity and speed right out of the gate, after which she got curb stomped just as hard as everyone else. Yes, I did say SHE there. Yeah, Kiba’s a girl. It weirded me out at first too, but she did actually grow up fairly cute! (More on that later)

Hinata and Sasuke had an extremely difficult time getting past Iruka’s guard, but they did actually manage it a few times. They didn’t land any particularly good hits, and they certainly didn’t pull off any uninterrupted combos, but they did better than everyone else by a longshot. By my estimate, the two of them were about half to two-thirds as good as me, which while a sobering thought also made sense given what clans they came from. They’ve probably been training their butts off since they learned to walk. Wonder if I’ll get put in the same class as Team Guy…

Iruka spent the whole day on taijutsu, apparently Tuesday was Taijutsu day, and I met my new class that afternoon when they came out for their practice after lunch. It wasn’t Team Guy’s class, although they were there too in a different part of the yard. It was the same class Itachi had been in, which was now the graduating class. They didn’t take having someone just over half their age tossed into their mix terribly well, so they all made absolutely sure to provide enough challenge that I was actually still breathing hard when I finally got out the gate that afternoon. Apparently what had been standard black belt level of proficiency in my world was standard Academy Graduate here, which also made sense given that they were learning shinobi skills for six years. They had most probably all put waaay more hours into it than I had to be honest.

I was half surprised to see that Neji was in the same class, and my first impression of him was that he was the nastiest little bastard I’d ever had the pleasure of kicking in the balls. He really should’ve known better than to throw a kick at my head after I’d jammed over half the kicks thrown at me over the course of the afternoon in one way or another, but I guess some people just have to learn the hard way, and some people never do. Although after having a voice to match his long girly hair for an afternoon, Neji wisely never tried to kick me in the head again. In fact, I’m not sure he ever tried to kick anyone in the head ever again…and given how many MANY times we sparred over the coming years, it really says something about how much it must’ve hurt that he restricted himself to his hands and elbows after that.

In between fights, the instructors would give tips, and there were a surprising lot of instructors, enough for every six students to have one to give close observation and tips. To my shock when I realized who she was, our instructor was a girl not terribly much older than us who had only just graduated at the end of the previous year: Izumi Uchiha. Yeah, that Izumi Uchiha, Itachi’s girlfriend. After I realized who she was, I made a point to be very nice to her because I knew what was coming. She didn’t have more than a few years to live at most unless I was able to stop the massacre. After I fought her so she could discern my skill level, I got a little insight into just how dangerous Itachi and Obito would be in a fight.

To put that in perspective for you, Izumi was a genin. A genin very talented in taijutsu who had graduated a year early to be sure, but by no means a Rock Lee or Hyuga level specialist. She still kicked me around like a ball, and I had actually only become faster in this body without any loss in strength from my fully grown body. My guard was good enough that she had trouble hitting me, and I was apparently still very good even by this world’s standards at what I learned was called Karumijutsu, or Body Lightening Art, the art of being light as hell on your feet and hard to catch or hit.

The others in my group were astounded that she had only managed to penetrate my guard the half dozen times she did in that two minutes, but I know that it was only because of how good I was at dodging and staying out of her range. That girl’s hand speed is freakin’ frightening, and she didn’t even have her Sharingan active. Her strikes weren’t exactly light either, and I could tell she wasn’t going anything like all out. Those were just light touches for her, and anyone who bruised normally would’ve had angry purple imprints of her hands and feet all over their body. The only reason I didn’t was because I take two or three days to even begin to bruise for anything less than something with bone breaking force, and by then I’ve usually healed enough that I only turn a bit brownish yellow rather than purple or black.

Itachi and Obito were set to not just beat but slaughter an entire district full of people more badass than Izumi in one night without any flashy jutsu like Itachi’s Susano’o. That was a very frightful testament to their battle prowess. I immediately put them both on my list of people to avoid confrontations with and prayed that I was not in the body of some Uchiha’s missing lovechild that would make me a target for those two.

On the upside, Izumi was a very easy person to be friendly with. She was very sweet and an attentive and skilled instructor. She was also extremely pretty, which helped me be nice to her even if it did totally screw my composure every time I noticed it. If all the girls were swooning over Itachi, I wouldn’t have been at all surprised to learn that all the guys were smitten with Izumi. I had to take a punch in the nose to cover up how much my nose was bleeding when my mind strayed in the obvious inappropriate directions. It only got worse when she got right up in my face to make sure my nose wasn’t broken and I got a big dose of how beautiful she was right in the face. After fumbling out an assurance that I was fine that was apparently good enough for Izumi to go back to conducting the next match, I decided to take up wearing a mask ala Kakashi and find a jutsu or something to reduce the blood flow to my nose.

We spent the rest of the day fighting and after we left, as I was walking home with Naruko, I almost got a geyser of a nosebleed as I realized how incredibly effective the Sexy Jutsu would actually be if ALL guys got nosebleeds this bad so easily, which I had seen no indication that they wouldn’t. It was only by quickly averting my thoughts to the combat implications of such an effective distraction and thoughts of tearing people apart that I managed to keep it down to a trickle instead of a gusher.

Then Ruko-chan noticed and leaned in to check on me and I had to pass it off as a lingering injury from earlier. Definitely need a mask… I thought, This is gonna get embarrassing quick otherwise.

Author's Notes
Since a lot of these terms may be new to readers (or more hopefully sporkers!) here's a little glossary of sorts!

genin: low-nin, the foot soldier ninjas. Treated as a standard grunt in the shinobi villages with most shinobi of significant talent going on to become Chunin (mid-nin) who can handle riskier missions and even lead teams, and the very best becoming Jonin (elite nin) who are actually entrusted with field command of trainees and are almost invariably commanders

nosebleeds: anime shorthand for getting a boner. I wouldn't use it, but the source material made it into an actual plot point capable of KO-ing the Hokage

Hokage: Refers to the supreme commander of the Hidden Leaf Village, basically ninja royalty, there have been only 4 Hokages and they are all considered masters of the shinobi arts and wield cataclysmic power. Naruko's father was the Fourth, but he died the night she was born to save their village from a rampaging demon that had previously been contained in Naruko's mother. Naruko is the new vessel of that demon and this is the real reason why everyone hates her. Other villages have other Kage

taijutsu: used in this series as a catchall for any hand-to-hand combat

NEXT CHAPTER

Current Mood: apathetic

Chapter 1 – The House

I stepped out my door and walked to my car. I stopped after three quick steps. I was late for work, I was in a hurry. I was also quite emphatically not at all where I was supposed to be. I turned around, kept turning, looked at the door I had just walked out of, poked my head back in. Yep, still the inside of my humble little two room abode in there, but the back windows were gone, something I hadn’t noticed when I woke up with the lights off, and the door was now a wooden one set into the side of a wood paneled wall.

I turned and looked out over the balcony at the city below me and then as I kept swiveling my head, I spotted something that made my brain break a little. Because really, who expects to walk out their front door on the way to work and step into Konoha? Which is not supposed to even be real! My eye twitched and I nodded thinking to myself, Alright, time to just, go back to bed. I’m clearly dreaming and I will undoubtedly wake up before anything good happen…what is that?

I pulled the letter taped onto my door off, this wasn’t here a minute ago… and I started to read.

==

Congratulations! You have just woken up in a Naruto fanfiction where simply having a somewhat viable brain and common sense will be enough to qualify as nearly story breaker levels of awesomeness. Everyone here is lacking in common sense and creativity, apply those things as you please and this world is your plaything! The powers of the gods are…well still pretty dang god like, but you can still beat them with your wit and guile provided they don’t blast you to paste right off the bat!

Oh, by the way, you’re about to physically become a little kid enrolled in Naruko’s class so that you can learn how to function in this world. Your new name is Koga Kurohyou, no other information is available about you to anyone. Your words will be automatically translated into the native language of the listener and you will be able to understand them in return, this also applies to kanji which is what you’re reading now. Consider the upcoming years your tutorial. Now go on, you’d better hurry or you’ll be late! (Map’s on the back)

Sincerely,
The Author

==

I twitched as the world shifted in size. Everything was suddenly a lot bigger. I frowned, thought for a moment, weighed my options and then took off with a big grin, following the map into my new life. Dream or not, I wanted to make the most of it.

==Ten Minutes Later==

I skidded into the classroom and spun upright to my feet with my hands raised in front of me, both index fingers extended in a quirky little gesture as I smiled, “I’m not late am I? Sorry, it took me a minute to find the room.”

A tall man with a large scar and a spiky ponytail who could only be Iruka looked at the clock, “No, you’re actually just in time. What’s your name?”

I smiled as the name that my little letter had given me rolled easily off my tongue, so easily one might’ve almost mistaken it for honesty. The joys of being a fantastic liar in a little kid’s body! Iruka checked his roster and nodded. “Alright, take a seat,” Iruka instructed. I nodded and quickly scanned the room, rapidly deciding to plonk my behind by the really pretty little blonde with the perfect blue eyes in the worn out t-shirt.

I smiled at her as warmly as I could, “Hi, I’m Koga. What’s your name?”

The little girl smiled a smile that seemed like extract of sunshine, “I’m Naruko! Do you want to be my friend?”

I blinked as the name registered and then I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into a one armed hug, “Best friends!” That was apparently the very right answer because I immediately got a hug and forever after that, Naruko stuck to me like glue whenever she could. As much fun as she was, I didn’t mind in the slightest.

==After Class==

We, or rather I, wound up pulling off that little incident that made Hinata look up to Naruto in canon. It quite surprised me, but even if I hadn’t immediately realized it was Hinata, I like to think I would’ve jumped in and helped out a little girl being picked on by three boys double her size. It was then that I realized I had maintained at least a significant amount of my former strength. Someone my size should not have been able to smack those three around like that. It was the first time I could remember having moved that fast in quite some time, and it felt awesome. The cracking my knuckles over the three fallen bullies and asking what they’d learned about bullying prompting them to all take off and run like hell itself was after them felt pretty damn epic too.

After they had turned the corner, I snorted in their general direction and then turned a smile on Hinata, “You alright Hyuga-chan?”

Hinata stared at me in shock and then nodded with a smile, “Yes, thank you!”

I smiled, “Don’t worry about it. It’s what I do.” I turned and strolled off waving over my shoulder as I saw Hinata’s body guard come rushing up, “See ya around Hyuga-chan!”

I walked Naruko home, chatting and smiling the whole way as she told me of all her likes, dislikes and grand dreams. Summed up simply, likes ramen and the Hokage, hates being ignored and wants to be Hokage. Before either of us knew it, we were at a large imposing building which honestly looked more like a prison than an orphanage, and just as soon as we saw it, Naruko’s smile disappeared.

It was an awful thing to see, that beautiful sunny smile just vanishing like that, and the look that replaced it was worse. If I hadn’t been able to guess it was bad, that look of…it wasn’t quite dread or terror, but certainly a strong “never want to go there again but I have to”. I looked at her, “Naruko, what is this place?”

“The orphanage,” Naruko said quietly with her eyes downcast, “I’m an orphan so I live here because nobody loves me.”

I refuse to admit to squeaking with outrage, but I might have squawked. To foster such a mindset in a child, especially one so bright and sunny and as far as I could tell utterly wonderful…If not for the fact that there were probably other kids in that horrid place, I’d have found a box of matches and torched it on the spot. No, I probably would’ve lit up all of Konoha if I could’ve gotten away with it. Naruko looked up at me in hurt surprise and I realized, Oh god she thinks I’m angry at her…

I caught her by the shoulders and looked her in the eye, “Naruko, as my best friend in this whole world, I cannot let you continue to live in a place that makes you so sad. Come with me, we shall gather your things and you can come live with me.”

Naruko looked like she had just been offered a stairway to heaven and oh god it hurt so much to see the effects my simple caring was having on her. Forget tugging my heartstrings, she was pulling them out like loose threads from a moth-eaten sweater, which given the state of my rotten black heart is probably a pretty apt metaphor…

Then she hesitated, “But…what about your parents? Adults don’t like me…”

I hugged her, “I don’t have any, and anyone who doesn’t like you is welcome to go get eaten by piranha as far as I’m concerned.”

That did it. On came the waterworks. She cried into my shoulder for what seemed like a long time before she pulled herself together enough for us to go get her things and leave that awful place. I resisted the urge to flip the matrons the bird on my way out, narrowly. They never said a word to me, but I had, and still have, nothing but hatred so deep I can’t even put it into words for them. Flipping them off with a glare of pure undiluted hate would be the beginning of the equivalent gesture. Burying a kunai between their eyes and storming off without a word would be the rest of it. It wasn’t until after we had grabbed Naruko’s meager possessions, we were able to gather them up in one trip, that she thought to ask me what a piranha was.

When we got back to my…well it had been a small travel trailer since I was always on the road for work, but now it was set into the side of a building so I guess it was an apartment now…for lack of a clearer category, I elected to call it a “dwelling place” at the time…Anyway when we got there, I got another surprise. It had changed since I left.

When I left, there had been two rooms, a larger room with a bed, a table, a sink, oven top, mini-fridge and microwave, plus lots of cabinets, and a small rectangular bathroom with a mirror/medicine cabinet and sink on the left, a toilet in the middle and a shower barely big enough for one on the left. It had also been a complete mess. A lonely bachelor with no social life tends to be a messy person and I epitomized that. My place had been a constant pigsty, dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, books and unopened snacks on one side of the bed in case I got hungry... I had never been called a disgusting pig for my manners or lack of decorum, but my mother had once called me one in a fit of rage after seeing my admittedly atrocious housekeeping.

Now I was stunned as I walked through what I was certain was the same door as before into a sizable room, almost double the size of what my larger room had been. What was weirder was that it was spotless. I looked around and poked my head back outside, looking around to make sure I was at the right beat up wooden door at the top of what looked like a rusty fire escape ladder in an unassuming brick alley. I pulled my head back in as Naruko was oohing and ahhing over how much space I now had and how nice everything was. You’d think it was a grand palace the way she was looking around at it. Granted, it was certainly quite nice, especially compared to that awful orphanage.

It was a small kitchen by the looks of it. The wall on the left was a bar with cabinets above and below and a sink in the middle, plus an old and kind of beat up looking dishwasher. There was a standalone fridge/freezer combo just across from the door, and an old microwave on the counter. A considerable chunk of the right wall was bookshelf which looked awfully familiar, and as I started reading titles, it looked like every book I’d ever had was there. I looked at the wooden table next to the door and ran a hand over it in numb shock, that was the table my grandfather had made for me when I got an apartment in college…and those were my chairs…

I suddenly froze and looked around, this is the kitchen from my apartment! Right down to the little cactuses in the window over the sink and my dirty blue floor mat! I looked around, starting to get seriously weirded out, what. The EXACT. FUCK? Then I noticed a note on the table and quickly grabbed it to read.

==

As you may have noticed, the house has changed. The house is my boon to you, so that you may never feel uncomfortable in your own home. The house exists in an extradimensional pocket, and the door is just propped up against the wall outside. You can seal it and take home with you wherever you go. The seal that allows this is in the fuinjutsu textbook in your bedroom. The house will change to suit whatever your needs are, but it will always pull from your memories to shape its new rooms. Existing rooms will not change significantly, but they will gain new places in the overall layout of the building. The map is once again on the back, and as you may not have noticed on the other map, both are constantly updating so that you can always find your way home and around inside. Locked doors do not yet have rooms behind them and cannot be opened. Some doors may be missing from where they were in the original room due to the floor plan being different. A compilation of the rooms the house has memory of and can therefore manifest is in the manual.

Yes the dishes are all done, as is the laundry and all the other housekeeping; part of the sealing matrix accounts for housekeeping. It was designed by an extremely brilliant but lazy man who didn’t have time for housekeeping (you will still have to buy groceries though). The wardrobes will be updated and altered based on biometrics taken by the house and personal preferences.
The books and pictures are from a mixture of the memories and knowledge of all past and present residents of the house, with complete versions of even partially remembered texts copied through the sealing matrix’s time-space functions.

Naruko has now been acknowledged as a resident and thus the house will respond to her needs and memories as well.

The house can understand the difference between visitor and resident and will only respond to residents. The house can only be accessed by residents. Anyone else who tries to open the door will find it to be a framed door to nothing except whatever is behind it, example a wall or the other side of the clearing it’s sitting in. All of the instructions for the house can be found in the manual, and the house will periodically drop little hints like this which can be compiled or disposed of as they are completely unnoticeable to anyone but a resident of the house.

==
By the time I was finished, Naruko was reading over my shoulder, which I let slide because I had already gotten to the part about her being a resident just as much as I was.

When Naruko finished she asked, “So…what’s it say?” I blinked and looked at her and then I remembered, Right, six year old orphan. Probably can’t read very well if at all.

I smiled, “Well ‘Ruko-chan, it says that the house has acknowledged that you live here now. That’s why it changed while I was gone. It was making room for you.”

Naruko blinked and then her eyes bugged out, “Wait, the house is alive?!”

I laughed, “No, it’s just a really smart house. The guy who made it was a super genius with fuinjutsu, and he made a house that can tell who’s here, as well as who lives here and who’s just visiting, change to suit their needs and hide itself from anyone else. There’s a map on the back, come on, let’s go check out your room!”

“I have my own room?!” Naruko asked with a delighted smile.

I nodded with a smile of my own, “Yep, come on, it’s right down this hallway.” I walked to what had in my apartment been the door to my bedroom and fought back the disorientation as it opened into the short cinderblock hallway from the second dorm I’d lived in in college. I led Naruko to the second door on the right, “Okay, here’s your room…”

I opened the door and once again tried to blink back the disorientation as the door opened into a bedroom I didn’t even begin to recognize from a completely different architectural style. I forced a smile and let Naruko run past me to jump on the bed with a squeal of delight that quickly turned my forced smile to a real one.

I looked around and as Naruko rolled around on the bed giggling with glee I looked at the picture on the dresser and my breath caught, “Ruko-chan, look at this.” I handed her the little framed picture as she sat up.

All the breath went out of her in an instant and her eyes went wide, “This…Is this…”

I picked up the piece of paper that had been under the picture and read aloud, “A picture of Naruko and her parents, Minato and Kushina.”

Naruko’s breath came out in little hitching sobs as tears welled in her eyes, “My…my daddy was… the Fourth Hokage?”

I smiled gently, “Judging by the picture, I’d say you definitely have his hair and eyes, and how could someone as wonderful as you be anyone less than the daughter of a Hokage?” Naruko’s lip trembled for a moment and then she burst into tears. I bounced up onto the bed and wrapped her in a hug, “Hey…hey…what’s wrong? I thought the Fourth was your hero.”

“He is!” Naruko wailed, “But why does my dad have to be dead?! If he were alive people wouldn’t hate me!”

I tightened my grip on her and took a firmer tone that cut through the sound of her sobs, “Naruko, stop. And. Think. Nobody hates you. They’re trying to protect you.”

Naruko actually stopped and looked up at me with big watery eyes, “W-what? But, but they all…”

I smiled softly at her, “Think about it. The Fourth wasn’t without enemies, and if people found out he had a daughter and he wasn’t around to protect her, they’d come after you. If people let on that you were the Fourth’s child, then they might be placing you in terrible danger. What if some other shinobi village found out the legendary Yellow Flash had a daughter? They’d want to kidnap her and force her to be a ninja for them wouldn’t they? By pretending to not care about you Naruko, they’re shielding you from the eyes of outsiders. If they don’t seem to care, why would anyone else? They’ll think, ‘surely Konoha would care about the child of their great hero and praise that child to the high heavens right? So this little girl who nobody gives a second glance surely couldn’t be that child! We can move on and leave her alone without having to worry about her growing up to be as strong as the Yellow Flash!’ and then...”

I smiled gently, “Years from now when you are all grown up and the greatest Hokage Konoha has ever had, everyone can admit who you are, because you’ll be strong enough that nobody can threaten you. Right now, everyone has to lie and pretend not to care, that you’re just another orphan from the night of the Kyuubi attack, but one day Naruko, you’ll be able to shed your anonymity and everyone will be able to love you openly. I know it’s hard, but until you’re stronger you have to hide who you are alright?”

Naruko looked up at me with so much hope and trust in her eyes that it almost hurt me, because as far as I knew every word out of my mouth just then had been a colossal lie. All except for the bit about her needing to hide who she was and get stronger. It wasn’t wrong though, she needed to hear it, right? I tried to tell myself that, but it still felt wrong somehow, using her trust to manipulate her like that, even if it did strengthen her resolve and would help her grow into a more formidable and loyal shinobi.

“Also,” I added, “A lot of people probably don’t know who you are. Lord Third has probably gone to great measures to keep your identity secret for your protection. I’m sure there are probably laws in place forbidding anyone who knows about it from talking about it or acting on it in obvious ways. I’m sure there are people who know though, and those people are always keeping an eye out for you from the shadows ‘Ruko-chan, I’m certain of it, and while they watch over you from the shadows, I’ll be right there by your side, watching your back, and may Kami have no mercy at all on the souls of whoever tries to get at you while I’m around,” I declared with a rueful grin and then, “Does that sound alright ‘Ruko-chan?” I asked with a smile.

Naruko looked up at me like I was her own personal guardian angel or fairy godfather or something to that effect, and as she wrapped me in a hug and cried happy tears into my chest, I decided that damn it all I was going to be. I might have been a cold rotten calculating ball of explosive malignance, but I was a cold rotten calculating ball of explosive malignance with a sense of honor dammit! This little girl was putting her trust in me and if it killed me I’d damn well be someone worthy of it.

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